Funny you brought this up, nealos. I was telling my IC on Monday that whenever I start to slide down into that black hole of negativity and self pity... I hear her voice in the back of my head saying "check yourself CG".
This little phrase has helped me learn to control my emotions, drop my defensive shield and allow me to name my feelings. By naming them, I am now able to own them and feel them.
This is HUGE! Before my final dday, I was completely detached from myself, to the point where I felt like my memories, actions, and feelings belonged to someone else... almost like watching a movie. Detachment and compartmentalization... trauma survival, and the type of behavior that makes it easier to slip down that slope.
This little phrase has helped keep me off that slope. Its almost like a little reminder to my subconscious self to step back, acknowledge the thought/behavior/ etc and and respond instead of blocking it out. As IC says "you have found every which way to get around this(insert problem) maybe now is the time to just face it head on and go right through it"
And so the its first time in over 10 yrs, that I'm going through my s#*t. Facing it alittle at a time, reattaching myself to it, and feeling it. Its dreadfully painful, but the payoff is so worth it!
Me:FWS 42 He: FBS 43 and my heart
Together 22 years. We survived infidelity. "Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." Tori Amos
CG