While you may not see it as a blessing now, I honestly think someone upstairs was looking out for you before you had a baby and got all entangled to this man for life, I truly do. I think you were given the 'gift' of sight for a reason.
As hard and as painful as it may be right now, please know that one day you'll smile again, Angeles85. I promise.
I am glad that you found us. The heartache and pain you feel is survivable, so please remember that. It will be a process. Have you looked for a counselor at all? Your emotions seem to be running really high and I think that you might benefit greatly from talking with one. If not please read up on depression and know the signs and watch yourself for them. You don't need to get into a deep depression as that will make things tougher for you.
Focus on the basics - exercise, eating, staying hydrated, and sleeping. Your emotions will be a big drain on your body so you need to make sure you keep it as physically sound as possible.
How long ago did you quit? Was the company big in that there might be work opportunities not in the same location but still near by? If so you might want to call your manager and see if there are any options. If not please look into the counselor since you are still married you should be eligible if there is a Employee Assistance Program in place to use that to start.
If getting back with your old company isn't an option I think that you'd want to try and get a new job as I think having your own space would help you. So starting to save now to get to that state faster will be in your interest.
As for surviving this all, it is possible. Let's get some of the foundation under you shored up. If you are totally positive and this is a deal breaker and you are filing for divorce, then I would encourage you to look around for some divorce support/recovery groups. DivorceCare is one such program that I know exists in LA and around LA. There are probably others.
I know where you're coming from and the feelings that your not going to make it. Regardless of what happens you will be a stronger person after you walk through this fire. I'm still walking through it and have developed some serious scar tissue as everyone else has.
I'm sending positive thoughts your way. Get some rest, eat well, and don't drink alcohol. I've been drinking way more than I should and have recently put it down and life is so much better. I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. You're going to be ok.
60 years young..
Make sure that you let the married woman's husband know of the affair.
If i was in his position i would want to know so that i could make my own decision.
No matter how shit you feel right now, you will survive this.