Me BW Him XSAWH
I posted a week or so ago about my grandmother (92) breaking her hip and the frustration of being far away and not able to get any reliable information.
Spoke to my mother today (it's my dad's mother) and we had a very frank conversation about it. She told me that she also believes that "the children" all kind of have their heads in the sand. Right now, grandma is set to come home after 3 weeks of rehab (that is all her insurance will cover). She also stated that there really isn't adequate supervision in there - my Mom spent the night and repeatedly had to prevent grandma from getting up to use the bathroom.
She has dementia (probably related to repeated minor strokes) and forgets about the injury. She agreed that grandma likely won't recover from this - largely due to the mental element (she doesn' tunderstand she's injured) and that she needs full time care. However, her children seem to think that she will bounce right back.
Mom is going to go back and spend a couple of weeks there to provide some more support and supervision for grandma. She told me that aunt & uncle (that grandma lives with) are not handling the stress well - snippy, my aunt has always been histrionic (everything is about her and how this impacts her, that my uncle wont' be home to make her lunch, etc), and really in denial.
I told her I was taking a long layover there on my business trip to see grandma and possibly say goodbye. She thought that was a good idea.
She said that she looked up some stats on hip breaks, recovery, mortality and shared them with my dad - he was somewhat surprised about the realities of it. I don't know what will happen.
Personally, I think that this is the beginning of the end for her. On the one hand, it's very sad, on the other hand - she's 92 years old!! At some point her children need to recognize that she will not live forever.
Anyway, just sharing th eupdate and a shamless plea for hugs.
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid