I went to the movies yesterday. Today I'm going hiking nearby.
Other than a supermarket run I have no idea what else to do. After 18+ years of making these decisions as a family (which usually meant going with whatever WW dictated), it's my first weekend of leisure alone without the kids or the wife ever (that's how "bad" of a husband I was).
I get the kids Sunday night. I only haven't seen them since Thursday morning but I miss them.
Hiking will help. Maybe. I need to make a list of the kind of things I like. I don't even know that anymore.
I think a self-inventory is a great idea! Do you have any hobbies that you've let go of over the years? Any areas of interest you've not had the time to pursue?
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Not sure. Will find out during the hike I guess.
I told a friend I feel a bit like an agoraphobic indoor cat. First time out, frozen. Not knowing what to do.
It will pass. 18 years is a bit overwhelming. Another problem WW (who needed sooo much "alone" time to "find herself" ) doesn't have and never had.
And I'm a silver lining kind of person. I know I'll end up liking it and looking forward to it. Just overwhelmed right now.
Anyway, now that I have EOW open, I can't believe how many things I've been doing and how much fun I've been having. I'm a fairly introverted person, so it's easy for me to just stay home since I like the peace and quiet and enjoy reading. However, most weekends I've been going out with friends and family, and I also started volunteering once per month with a local organization during my weekends off, and I've really enjoyed it. So, some quick and easy suggestions:
1. Volunteer-- it's a great way to get out, do something good for the community, and to meet people.
2. Reconnect with folks that you might have pulled away from during your M-- I hang out much more with family members and GFs; it's been so nice to cultivate those relationships again.
3. Road trip! Find a place either nearby to go to for the day or maybe to hang out at over the weekend. I have been thinking about a road trip during the time my kids will be gone for spring break or over the summer.
4. Save the chores-- other than basic cleanliness (dishes, laundry, clean up a spill), I leave the heavier cleaning to the weekends when my kids aren't around.
5. Hobbies-- I joined a choir and have started doing some writing again. I also have a couple of knitting/sewing projects I'd like to get back to again. The hiking you mentioned is a great place to start. I haven't read the other posts, but there might even be a meetup group in your area that goes hiking; that would be a great way to meet people with a similar interest.
Hang in there. It does get easier. Now, as the single parent and primary custodian, I look at the weekends as being a big help. I can get work done and enjoy some "me" time so that I'm not too overwhelmed during the week.
How are the kids doing?
If you're not used to planning family outings on your own, maybe use your spare time this weekend to plan next weekend. Google activities for children in your area. Seeing all there is to do that you haven't done yet might just cheer you up a little and give you something to look forward to.
@BAB61 yes, I was the opposite. Whatever she wanted to do went. Sometimes she'd ask my opinion and shut it down. Not all the time, sometimes we did do what I wanted, but mostly if it was a choice of place to eat, not for something important, like doing something for the weekend.
The kids are doing awesome. I pick them up tomorrow night for Mon/Tue with daddy. We've been doing great together. Even my DS w/A is adapting amazingly well, he loves his new room (I got him Superman sheets for his bed) and the few toys he has here, he's sleeping surprisingly well in there - maybe because it's so peaceful at my house (I'm a mellow guy). My DD says she wants to move with me permanently.
@absolut, thank you. I do drink but always avoid getting drunk. So that's not going to be an issue, it's a good thing to watch out for though. I got my guitar back recently from the house I left and I'm starting to practice again. That's currently the only hobby I can support. I want to avoid working - would be too easy for me to lose myself in workaholism and have her have a weapon to use against me on custody time (she already put that in the D papers).
Overall I not only survived but did ok. The morning of Sunday was difficult. But by the afternoon I was ok again. Then later I picked up my kids. I missed them so much! They provided the happiness I needed just as I was running out of steam myself.
I indeed did better than I had a right to expect. I can't wait to tell my IC. I have an appointment with him tomorrow I think.