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Barely surviving

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aero1122 posted 1/18/2014 18:51 PM

6 weeks from d-day and I still cant function. I feel so fake around our kids, I am trying to not let them see the pain I am in. Still cant believe that this is my reality

TrustedHer posted 1/18/2014 19:55 PM


Take care of yourself. Make sure you drink water, and eat something. Smoothies if you can't face food.

Are you in counseling? A good IC can help you with tools to get through this.

Hurtbetrayed posted 1/18/2014 19:55 PM

Your not alone. It's so hard to continue, to place a smile on your face or to hold back the tears. Something like this does not only ruins your life in an emotional way, but physically. I don't know how I've been functioning. There's days I don't even know how I got to my location. There's days I don't want to get up from bed. I know it will get better and I know it won't be soon, but we are strong and have wonderful kids to live for. I just wish no one had to go through so much pain.

Stay strong I know it's not easy.

My DDay Dec.9 I also found out we are pregnant so I'm feeling a lot hormonal and devastated.

aero1122 posted 1/18/2014 20:03 PM

I start IC next week. At first I thought I didnt need it. my WH has been going and now I see I need it as well to get through this.
I have been living on smoothies. I still cant eat much. I mostly play around with my food in front of the kids. I want us to be stronger and better and so does he but i just have so mamy triggers right now.

PRNDL posted 1/18/2014 20:45 PM

Im so sorry you are going through this horrible horrible experience.

Week 6 huh? I remember week 6. I was getting ready to lose my career due to the pain and distraction. I was in therapy and heavily medicated. I did not know who I was. I had not been eating. I had not been sleeping. I begged her not to leave me for him. I lost all of my dignity. She would look at me and tell me "thats not attractive. To cry like the. If I were to leave him. He wouldnt react like that."

My point is, its too soon for you. Make no decisions. Start no wars with you WH and the OP.

Eat, sleep, and manage your fears, anxieties, and panic if any.

Take care of your babies.

You will get stronger. You will try to R. It may or may not work out, but in the meantime focus on you.

I no longer believe in R. Once its done, its done. Thats why you obsess. Thats why your mind is filled with the images of what they did. Its your body telling you to leave the bastard.

I know you are afraid, but maybe one day it will hit you. And you will see him for what he really is. A person who puts his selfish needs before his wife and kids deserves to have no one.

I am just now waking up to what a monster she is. The best part is now after 9 months her fog is lifting and she wants me back. Too late. Im not plan B.

Now when she cries, shes the unattractive one.

I wish you strength. Give it time. Build your strenth.
In the mean time. 180D him.

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