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Completely Broken

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twillett333 posted 1/18/2014 19:14 PM

So I never thought I would be at this website but here I am. I have had suspicions that my husband was having an affair but I had no proof. Monday morning I decided to check his phone and as soon as I did I found instagram pics of him and the other girl. They were talking back and forth saying they loved each other etc. I felt like I had been hit by a train. I couldn't breathe and I was shaking so bad. I woke him up and confronted him but he lied to me and said it was a fake acct and they only took those pics to make her husband jealous.
I tried so hard to believe him but I just had a gut feeling that he was lying. So I told him I wanted to talk to her to get her side of the story and to find out if it was really fake or not. That night I asked for her number but he said it was at work. I let it go that night but the next morning I checked his phone again and her number was in it. I waited until he was in the shower and called her. She told me they were "engaged" and in love. He told her I cheated on him with his brother and our youngest son is his brothers. I have never ever cheated on him. She even said he gave her a ring. I was devastated. I confronted him again and this time he couldn't deny it. He said it was all true.
I just can't believe the person I have been married to for nine years would do this to me. He ended things with her (or so I think) and he says he can live without her but he can't live without me and our two boys. I can tell he is unhappy because he is in love with her too. I am so completely hurt right now and i have no clue what to do.

RealityStinks posted 1/18/2014 19:35 PM

I just want you to know that someone read your story. Others with better advice than I can give you will be along I'm sure. Just remember to look out after you and your kids. Hang in there.

scarednbroken posted 1/18/2014 19:36 PM

I welcome you to this safe place. Even tho it is sad circumstances.

I think most here would agree - I've read it so often. Do nothing right now. Take care of yourself. And read here. Post here. Ive known for many years what my WH was. But he always apologized and tried for a few months then he was back at it. The more I read here the more I see What he really is and what I need to do. You need to let things sink in. Decide what you want to restore your trust in him. And lay it out. Then dnt back down. If he has real feelings for the OW he has to get over it if it's going to work. Otherwise he may be back at it again or even resent your family. If you can ic and mc may help.


Hurthalo posted 1/18/2014 19:48 PM

Wait, he had given her a ring while married to you?!?

That is bloody ridiculous. My heart goes out to you. Read up on the 180 and start implementing it. If the OW has a spouse, let him/her know. He's deep in the fog, and you need to shock him out of it.

I am so sorry this has/is happening to you.

simplydevastated posted 1/18/2014 20:34 PM

That has to be the most horrible thing I've read. It takes a special kind of insane to say that about their own child, not to mention everything else.

I'm so sorry you're here, but you're in the right place. If you haven't already, read through the healing library. There's a wealth of great information in there.

He says he can't live without you and the boys, but what is he doing to show you that? He needs to offer you full transparency, give you access to all devices and accounts without deleting anything. He has to write a no contact letter to his affair partner.

Sending you strength and (((hugs)))

You will get through this.

Post often, it helps.

nomoredreams posted 1/18/2014 20:56 PM

I wish I had brilliant wisdom, but I don't. Just try to keep breathing and never stop loving on your precious babies. They will get you through when you think nothing can.
You are in my prayers...nmd

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