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33years posted 1/18/2014 21:00 PM

Today my WH and I entered a hardware store and there was a song playing much too loud for my liking....an oldie. "When you can't be with the one you love....love the one you're with, love the one you're with" Since I know my WH is still in the fog, I felt like this could be his song. Uggh! I know, it's a mind thing and good chance he never even heard the song playing. I texted my daughter and told her and she snapped me out of it by saying that he asked me to go to the store with him and that I should give him a chance. The rest of our day together went well and we actually had conversations. Wow!

fromaztowa posted 1/18/2014 21:27 PM

I still trigger over "Walking on Sunshine" because that was their song. You know, because he was so much happier to be with her instead of me.

I'm glad it worked out for you, but sometimes those things sneak in. Your daughter gave you good advice, try to relax and focus on what he is doing now.

hpv50 posted 1/18/2014 22:33 PM

Ugh, songs, can't avoid them. It's great you could pull it together and keep going.

I trigger on Pink's "Just Give Me a Reason." it came out while my WH was gaslighting me. There's a lyric that says "it's just all in your head," and I had myself pretty convinced it was...until it wasn't.

FracturedSoul posted 1/19/2014 04:27 AM

I think Taylor Swift sings that song "We are never ever ever getting back together"...that was the song on the radio JUST after I discovered that first fatefull Facebook message. ..It triggers me every time!

Hang in there...you are not alone♡

steadfast1973 posted 1/19/2014 06:34 AM

That song "You belong with me" by Taylor Swift. Lord, I'd love to punch Taylor Swift... It mimicked all of the emails from his EAP, of how i didn't "get him" like she did. She even used the exact phrase, " she doesn't get your humor, like i do." Of course you think he's funny B----! His jokes are about me, not you! Let's see how you feel about his humor when the jokes are aimed toward you! (sometimes I think my fwh's love language is insults - especially after spending time with his mother... The two months she lived here, it became very clear my wh had no chance of being an emotionally healthy man without professional help...)

Flatlined123 posted 1/19/2014 06:45 AM

Bryan Adams "Run to You".

eachdayisvictory posted 1/19/2014 06:48 AM

Avett Brothers; If it's the beaches. They are OUR favourite band, she became a fan because of H, and that song was their 'dream of escape'. Hurts so bad.

SadFlower posted 1/19/2014 08:10 AM

A few months before D-Day, OW sent FWH a list of songs to express her feelings for him. These always trigger me:

"Kiss Me," by Avril Lavigne.

"Teenage Dream," by Katie Perry, with the words "Let's go all the way...with no guilt tonight." BTW, the OW is a 55-year-old woman!!

"Bring Me to Life," Evanescence

Anything by Barry Manilow, especially "Time in New England" (they would meet in Massachusetts for their trysts) and "Looks Like We've Made It." (Oh yeah?)

Note: FWH loathes Barry Manilow, OW adores him. I used to imagine the perfect punishment--FWH ending up with OW and having to listen to Barry Manilow all the time.


steadfast1973 posted 1/19/2014 08:42 AM

Oh, and the song "Hit" by the Sugarcubes. He posted it to her wall thr morning of dday. It's about falling in love unexpectedly...

Kyrie posted 1/19/2014 08:50 AM

Yep, Flatlined, Run to You is a big trigger for me. I used to love that song pre-DDay, not sure why - the words are horrible!

creativecat posted 1/19/2014 11:37 AM

We recently started getting into some of the "oldies" redone by Harry Connick Jr. and Michael Buble. "I Only Have Eyes for You," came on the other night and I had a complete meltdown. No matter how far we are into R, and how model a fWH he is being, I will NEVER be able to listen to that song (and many like it...all the "never" "always" "only" type songs) again.

heforgotme posted 1/19/2014 12:31 PM

That country song, "You ain't woman enough to take my man".

The first time we tried to go out after Dday they were doing karaoke in the place we were in and someone sang that song.

FWH said, "She wasn't woman enough".

And I said....

If you're that easy to take, then she can have you.

Our first night "out" did not go well......

steadfast1973 posted 1/19/2014 14:32 PM

"Say something" by A great big world and Christina Aguillara. Reminds me of how i felt in the months leading up to dday. "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus, kills me. To death. "Give me a reason" by P!nk and Nate Ruess. His part, sounds so blameshifty and gaslighty. "It's all in your head" the rest of the song is good though.

Dyinghere posted 1/19/2014 19:46 PM

Jar of Hearts by Christina Perry
Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus
Just give me a reason by Pink

When I was your man by Bruno Mars

Lucky2HaveMe posted 1/19/2014 19:52 PM

Mine was Oh Leah by Donny Iris

"I see your lips and I wonder who's been kissing them..." OY

aero1122 posted 1/19/2014 20:20 PM

'Say something' makes me break down every time.

silverhopes posted 1/19/2014 20:33 PM

"Hurry Up" by Mya still makes me think of H and the main OW. "If They Knew" by TLC makes me think of my mother's affair. Especially because she and the OW used to play the song in the car while I rode around with them.

HFSSC posted 1/19/2014 20:46 PM

There is a song called "Wave on Wave" that makes me want to scream, throw up and kill somebody all at the same time.

JM started playing it for me when we were beginning to spend time together before our false R began. The chorus is "And it came upon me wave on wave. You're the reason I'm still here. Am I the one you were sent to save? It came upon me wave on wave." He used to play it for me and sing it to me.

Then in August 2011 when our false R blew up, I called OW and that song was set as her ringback tone. He lied to me repeatedly when I asked if that was "their" song or if he had played it for her before he finally admitted it.

I told him if that song ever played in my presence again, I would rip whatever electronic device was playing it and throw it out the window wherever I was. Thankfully, it's not something that I've ever heard on the radio or anything.

33years posted 1/19/2014 21:10 PM

HFSSC that is terrible! I'm afraid I'd have to do the same.
I guess I'm lucky that my WH and I never had a song. The song I heard in the store only bothered me because of the words being said.
It appears by all the other posts that songs can be a big trigger. Probably because songs can touch us on a deeper level emotionally.

shatteredapart posted 1/20/2014 07:09 AM

Many country songs trigger me. Doesn't help that WH and I both like country. The Dixie Chick's song "When You Were Mine" starts me sobbing. Most of the songs I loved listening to this summer I hate right now because I think of them together while I was with our kids. To top it off I heard a voice mail message she left him where she called herself his "Country Girl". There goes that song too. He said he never called her that and that she likes pop/top 40 music not country. So I'm trying to focus on that and not let it trigger me when we're in the car and the kids beg to listen to music. I'm getting better about keeping it together. It helps a bit that WAS tin Many country songs trigger me. Doesn't help that WH and I both like country. The Dixie Chick's song "When You Were Mine" starts me sobbing. Most of the songs I loved listening to this summer I hate right now because I think of them together while I was with our kids. To top it off I heard a voice mail message she left him where she called herself his "Country Girl". There goes that song too. He said he never called her that and that she likes pop/top 40 music not country. So I'm trying to focus on that and not let it trigger me when we're in the car and the kids beg to listen to music. I'm getting better about keeping it together. It helps a bit that W'S ring tone right now is "You Lie" by the Band Perry.

[This message edited by shatteredapart at 7:23 AM, January 20th (Monday)]

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