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im new, and looking for support...

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lonewolf posted 1/19/2014 09:01 AM

First. I worry I'm not posting in the right place. For I didn't "just find out". In fact it has been a few years, some very rough years. I never sought help, either because of pride, or because of shame.

She was (is?) The love of my life, and it didn't matter, I did everything perfect and its hard to keep going. I truley don't know where to start.

DLP50 posted 1/19/2014 09:07 AM


You have come to the right place. You will find a lot of great information and support from all the wonderful members who have gone down the same path.

Take some time to read and ask questions.

Take care!

sparkle09 posted 1/19/2014 10:28 AM

Refer to the healing library the questions from BS to WS really helped me. Good luck on your journey.

greengiant posted 1/19/2014 12:46 PM

Welcome here lonewolf. Even if it happened few years ago, if you haven't sought for help, it must hurt like hell... Please feel free to share with us your story and your feelings. You are not alone, we are more than 42 000.

lqqk4answ posted 1/19/2014 16:40 PM

Well mine is over a year since DDay and it took me a year before I came here, so I'm new too. I came her because I was dealing with it totally on my own, no one I could talk to etc. WW still doesn't want to talk about it, just wants me to get over it, by myself. Get over it? Yea, I know how hard that can be!

Anyway, I sometimes wonder if "just found" out is really correct, or perhaps, it should be still dealing with affair? On SI I don't know where to go after "just found out"??? Seems there is nothing to move on too until you are done dealing with affair.

"Just found out" is, sure all would agree, is worse stage because of intense emotional turmoil. But if affair is ongoing or if BS is still dealing with "just found out" emotional strain, then this feels the right spot. I mean, you still have same emotional strain eaven if you have become more numb to it. Anyways, welcome!

And if anyone else can definitively answers this, or where is better to post after "just found out" I would appreciate it as I'm hesitant to post here anymore since I've been dealing with @!!! for over a year and feel I shouldn't respond to others when I'm still dealing with much the same issues!

better4me posted 1/19/2014 17:56 PM

Welcome, Lonewolf. I'm glad you've found SI and I hope you will find what you are looking for here on the website. You can post anywhere you'd like, on any forum, except where you see a "stop" sign. Since you've been dealing with the aftermath of infidelity for awhile you may find that the posts in JFO may be a little different than what you need. I think you will definitely find information that is helpful in the General forum. If you've been working on reconciliation, that forum may be useful, and there is a lot of helpful advice from people who may be in a similar situation to yours in the I Can Relate forum. The Healing Library ( top right hand corner) has good information too. Browse around, read a lot and decide when and where and if you want to post. At first, I did a lot of reading and not a lot of posting. But being a part of this community did me a lot of good and does me a lot of good three years out!

I hope you find it to be helpful to you too.

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