Today im posting about FB. The second most thing I hate. My wife stopped posting pictures of me when she started her affair. We had gone to Miami, Georgia, and so on. She would only post pics of her and our son. And her comments would never mention me.
Between her fucking I phone and her FB account, I should have known! I hate myself for not acting on my instinct.
I hate myself for not acting on my instinct.
Bro - nothing changes if you had. One should never be put in the position of having to rely on instinct and intuition to figure out if their relationship is safe. Trust is a strong blinder.
I eventually had to resort to a GPS tracking device. The moment I had to place that I was well aware my M was in trouble and my life was about to change.
I also agree with you on FB. Based on phone records, my WW started talking to the OM on a regular basis at the beginning on February 2013. They were both involved in a leadership development activity at the time and part of that program was a trip to our state's capital to learn the ins and outs of state government. This trip was mid March when the texting/talking had gotten hot and heavy. Well, while on that trip she changed her profile picture to one of just her. That was the first profile picture she had that didn't include me since she started FB just after in came out (you still had to have a .edu email to join when we started). It struck me as odd, but I just let it go. It makes perfect sense now though.
I'm with you that I hate cell phones and Facebook, but then again I don't. I have both, but I'm not unfaithful. They make it easier, but people have been cheating long before cell phones or Facebook.
I enjoy having the ability to call someone whenever I want. I also like seeing what my friends are up to (the 10 or so close ones, not so much the 100's of other "friends") on Facebook.
I guess I've come to the realization that it's not the phone's or Facebook's fault that she cheated. It's also not entirely the OM's fault either. She CHOSE to cheat. It's all on her.
That said, I certainly hear where you're coming from.
Hang in there man!
The OW also used the "You have no pics of your wife in your office..." as reasoning to convince him that his M was really shit... <sigh>
Married 27 years. Together 29.
3 children 24, 21, 14
OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.
When she came home after her two week vacation, I asked her point blank if she cheated on me. "We only kissed" was her answer. "We're just friends" was another. I believed her. 3 years later I discovered that it was fucking and blow jobs day after day, with multiple guys, no condoms etc. Also, a continued EA throughout that time, with her trying to arrange to meet with him again one day, as he lived on the other side of the world.
So yeah, FUCK FB...
It was always suspicious to me and always thought that he wanted to hide me or hide from other women. Turns out I was right on both counts. Just tells me he must have been cheating the entire time we've both been on FB since around 2009.
4 days after I broke up with him he finally decided it was the right time to post pics of us together. Go figure. Guilt talking I suppose. So yes, I hate FB. And I hate the phone. It never left his side from the day I met him.
[This message edited by Kitty70 at 9:38 PM, January 19th (Sunday)]
phone was a huge signal. and when a mutual friend said to me days (okay christmas eve- the day) before that we reallyneed to get mr. oai off his phone.... i should have known.
wh carries work and personal smartphones. i now have complete access to them, but they still trigger me.
wh keeps his fb devoid of pix of himself and us. just inanimate objects and the kids. it still triggers me.
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
I don't think FB makes you cheat (hey, my ws didn't have it), but I think it makes it easier to put yourself out there to everyone. kwim?
I have a friend who is going through some shit with her dh (she had a ONS that he doesn't know about) and I notice her fb posts and her pics she puts up are changing - like she's trying to be sexier, prettier. And the comments from others. Seems like she's doing it to get the attention. I don't know. But I raise my eyebrows almost daily at her shit on there.
Even to the point that we were at a function with one child and I said let me take the puc(him and daughter) and he preferred to load "selfies". I even tagged him in a post in a puc and he deleted it. That was about the tiime I became very very observant of his actions.
No pics of me on. Facebook but she would have me take the same pics of her and everybody I'm same pose again only since I was holding the camera, I wouldn't be in them. These always made it onto Facebook. But none with me,,,,,ever. She was smart enough to always have her sister or someone take the first pic the. Tell me to take the next one so her sister could be in one too.
Wow I was a dumb a$$. Looking back I know exactly how you all feel. I get sooooo enraged when she says "I was stupid, or I am stupid" to explain why she did it. Because I tell her, " no way, don't ever ever say that to me.....because I'm very smart, and for you to fool me as completely as you did, and be stupid, means that I am less than stupid, and that I won't stand for".
She is super super remorseful still but we split as the level of betrayals was just too sociopathic for me to continue being with her.