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Hello,

I have just noticed in my signature line that D day was 4 years ago today.

It seems like a LONG time ago now but the memories of those early days are still very clear in my mind.

I was lucky to stumble across Surviving Infidelity in that very first week, and that was the beginning of my journey to healing.

So many of you here In Just Found Out are in terrible pain. Devastated and lost are words we see here again and again.

Please hang in there... Wonderful happy times lie ahead of you. It will not be an easy route - reconciliation is for the brave and committed, divorce is very tough too... But it will be ok. It truly will. It just takes TIME.

Life will improve, you will heal, you will rise from this awful time
Of your life like a Phoenix from the ashes.

You will become a stronger and happier version of yourself.

You will survive.

It will take some of you longer than others to arise from the ashes but you will all get there.

Stay here... Learn from the old timers, reach out to the newbies and believe in a better life. It will come.

4 years on I am divorced from my untreated bi polar emotionally and abusive ex. Good riddance!!!!!!

I am very happily in love with the kindest more gentle and respectful guy I could ever hope to meet. He treats me in a way I hoped for in my marriage and never received.

In a few days time we will celebrate a year together.

4 years on I am so happy that my life was changed by infidelity. The life I have now is sincere, calm, fulfilling, full of laughter, happiness and love.

Hang on guys life will get better.... It may not be the life you expected or planned but It will be wonderful.

Take care

This post made me cry, but in a a good way. It helps to know that one day I will be ok

AndreaL .... It is impossible to forgive an unremorseful spouse.

I could not forgive either even IF he had of been remorseful. For me infidelity is a deal breaker.

I knew within 30 seconds of seeing the messages on his phone that my marriage was over.

Please don't beat yourself up wishing you could forgive.

If he is unremorseful and unwilling to do everything to help you heal - forgiveness is not an option.

Hang in there Andrea things will improve ... You can do this and rise up from the ashes too.

Thank you--I got a simple "it will all be okay in time" message from a friend last night and it really helped. I appreciate that you wrote this.

Thank you, I try to believe this. Some days though it seems that it will never be okay again.

Hope, it helps.

This is inspiring--can't wait for it all to recede into the rear view mirror myself! Congratulations on the upcoming anniversary!