::This is not a vent thread::
DD1: PA with old friend
No IC, No MC
DD2: I find her number in his phone.
Confession to EA; I was emotionally unavailable after DD1 and he turned to OW.
I demand IC. He figures out his “issues”. Realises OW was once again trying to get him to leave his M and she has no remorse whatsoever nor empathy towards me, her OBS or any of the kids.
After 3 months I am told he still thinks OW is a “nice person” and relationship-material if we ended up D. I am flabbergasted. Why would he have let himself go like that ? To me, it was like he fell into the pit of lies and deceit again instead of “rejecting” her and her manipulating ways.
His confession: I lied up until now, because I was afraid to confess to you about how I really felt about her. When you kept bugging me to tell you how I really felt, I told you. But now that it is in the open I realise it is just not true.
Since then he has denied any feelings for OW. She is “poison” and “just a weird wh…” and he realises she only causes pain to the people around her.
I am struggling with my need for him to tell me over and over and over again, that he truely, honestly, detests what she did. I have to admit he is trying to do right by me, now. But still.. he has been emotionally attached to her for so long, and has hurt me so badly during his A’s, that I would like for him to tell me how he now sees how she manipulated him and is a psychopath. Using examples, preferably. It always escalates and in the end he will tell me “But I already told you ! So many times! Start looking forward instead of dwelling on the bad times. I want nothing to do with her anymore!”.
He has been emotionally attached to her for so long, and has told me how she is a "nice" person for so long, I kind of feel it is time for the exact opposite.
Should I let it go ? Should he tell me he “hates” her wrongdoing on demand ?
2x4's welcomed, and again, this is not a vent thread :-)