I saw a post a while back about the emotionally unavailable man. There were a lot of good posts there. There are also emotionally unavailable women,but obviously not as much as men.
Men are brought up to be emotionally and physically tough. To hide our feelings and not let people see you cry. Although there are men who are quite sensitive and have no problem showing tears,there are quite a lot of us who are not in touch with what is called "the feminine side" of us. A lot of us have no clue even how to get in touch with it and surmise that if we do, we will be seen as weak. That is why women may see looks of bewilderment and confusion when our spouse or girlfriend say we don't care about them or show that we love them.
I see a lot of WW's say they thought their partner didn't love them or care and when they have a DDay, they are shocked by the emotions displayed.
Men express love differently..while we must venture to hone our romantic skills..we show our love in providing, protecting and professing (this does not include the deadbeats who will not).
We provide with income...we protect by making sure you have a safe place to live and that you are out of harms way and we profess that you are our wife or fiance or girlfriend.
Men who do not write you poetry or bring you flowers ( which we should do) just may not be able to write poetry and no one taught them how women love just the fact you thought about them to bring them something NICE home. For women it may not be exactly what you bring, but that you thought to bring anything at all.
Our wiring is different..we don't romanticize as much, but I have learned that what you brought to the table to win that woman's heart is what you must keep bringing to the table after the heart has been won.
If your man is emotionally unavailable and you are feeling neglected, DO NOT HESITATE to tell him.
Do not hesitate to tell him you feel he is not connecting with you
That he isn't showing you how he feels for you inside his heart.
Tell him(if he is doing it) that you appreciate how he provides and works hard
How he makes sure you have what you need
Tell him also you want to see his tender side too
The way he treated you when you first met
Sometimes we forget because we get caught up in providing and keeping our jobs so we CAN take care of you.
But some of us need reminding so we don't get lost in the providing mode.
Also I challenge us as men to remember all the emotions we felt when we met our companions and all the things we did with them and for them in the dating stage. To remember the feelings we felt when the phone rang and it was her
Or when we got to her house and the butterflies we felt before we knocked on the door of her house
Women..if you know your man was emotionally unavailable before you married him or started dating him...it is highly improbable that he will change. He may..but usually men don't without intensive therapy to find out why they seem insensitive.
If your man was able to display bouts of romantic interludes before you tied the not or got engaged..he is capable of being emotionally available.
If he's stopped, life has got in the way and he just needs to reconnect.
A lot of us don't recognize we have slipped into being emotionally unavailable until we are told or something dramatic happens to bring those emotions out.
All that being said, just because someone is emotionally unavailable..it doesn't mean it's an excuse to cheat...it's something to be brought to attention before an affair happens that will hurt or totally destroy the marriage.