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This is worth reading

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whatliesahead posted 1/20/2014 16:42 PM

Regardless of how you are leaning about your situation I believe this is worth reading.


https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/cost-of-forgiving-infidelity

nekorb posted 1/20/2014 17:07 PM

Page not found when I copied and pasted?

whatliesahead posted 1/20/2014 17:14 PM

I do not have an issue with copy and paste. Have tried it several times.

Can't say what the issue might be.

As alternative Google:
rick reynolds affair forgiveness

Scroll to Ever associated forgiveness with a big price tag

nekorb posted 1/20/2014 17:15 PM

Maybe I'm copy and paste deficient. Will try and find it the other way. Thanks!

Deeply Scared posted 1/20/2014 17:23 PM

Rick Reynolds is a very nice man

creativecat posted 1/20/2014 18:42 PM

Great article! Thanks for posting it. I'm a wordsmith by trade, but find great difficulty in articulating my feelings about my fWH and the A. Emotions get in the way. I love finding articles (and especially comments on SI from the "veterans") which explain how I'm feeling, not only to my fWH, but help me to understand my feelings, too.

Getting to Happy posted 1/20/2014 18:59 PM

Thanks for posting the link to this article.

It really explains the high emotional price the BS pays to stay with the WS.

Sometimes it is nice to have validation.

scarednbroken posted 1/20/2014 19:03 PM

Thank you so much!! I have struggled with how to explain to my WH that to forgive him AGAIN will be just too much. I have been forgiving him almost yearly. He is a repeater. He always seems remorseful. Crying. Threatening suicide. Etc. I just can't forgive anymore. I feel way too empty.

Something that his home - the BH in the scenario felt that since two of the AP were acquaintances that he felt made a fool of. This is the case with me this time also. I have read txt msgs where he is speaking to his main OW and they say MY NAME when speaking about me (and what they say is very
Mean most times). She also knows my kids - works at their
School. It's so infuriating to know she sees my children and thinks about what she does with their father. That she has seen me. Knows who I am. But I have never seen her. I have no reason to try to. She isn't one of their teachers. Ok. I have to stop before I end up sleepless tonight.

Again. Thanks for the insight. I copied it and will be handing it to him...

RidingHealingRd posted 1/20/2014 19:23 PM

Thank you for the link.

As I often do when given the opportunity, I read this to my WH. Fortunately, I have a WH whose daily actions show me that he appreciated the gift of R. Sadly, I will never forgive him for his horrendous decision to inflict such tremendous pain on me and my children with his disgusting A.

SisterMilkshake posted 1/20/2014 19:36 PM

Excellent! Thanks for sharing.

brokendancer7 posted 1/20/2014 21:50 PM

Thank you. That really puts into words what a BS is going to have to deal with to R. It seems like all the messages you get are, "take the high road," be the bigger person," "love conquers all," "and be a good Christian." That article lays out what we actually have to give up (and they are not things anyone wants to give up) to try to continue with our marriages.

A lot to think about.

Alex CR posted 1/21/2014 08:39 AM

Thanks for posting...just got around to reading this morning. Really does express beautifully how much BS's give up .... our beliefs, values and pride...to reconcile.

Thanks again......

BigMo3516 posted 1/21/2014 10:01 AM

I too have struggled for a long time with putting what this article outlines into coherent thought WW can understand. Great article thanks for sharing.

Rebreather posted 1/21/2014 10:56 AM

I like this a lot. It shares much of what I believe about forgiveness.

rachelc posted 1/21/2014 11:19 AM

love it. printed off.

especially this: If justice is the standard, then the consequence of betrayal is the loss of relationship. Anything short of that is mercy, indeed."

grownapair posted 1/21/2014 11:23 AM

Thank you. These are the words I've been struggling to find to explain to WH how it all looks from my side of the coin.

Sparkle0504 posted 1/21/2014 11:23 AM

Thank you for sharing this; it articulates things beautifully :)

FeelingSoMuch posted 1/21/2014 11:50 AM

Thank you for sharing. It articulates well what I have been struggling to say.

MylarPineapples posted 1/21/2014 12:30 PM

Thank you for this link.

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