"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

hurtlover posted 1/20/2014 19:05 PM

I have been with my bf for 8 years engaged for 2 n my so called best friend slept with my bf! I have been there for her n helped her when she needed it! N she does this to me n the worst part she dont care doesn't even faze her! She tried denying it n lie til I told her I have it on tape, well audio of her moaning. She still tried to lie for a little bit longer cause she thought I was bluffing til I showed her then it was well its no big deal cause u think he's cheating anyways I did this for u to prove he is a cheater! Wow what a friend n then ends it with that they fucked 6 months ago on her bday! N still thinks its no big deal I wanna hurt her so much! I no I should be mad at him to n I am but more mad at her I don't have any gfs cause they have always hurt me so when we became friends I was careful n then we got close n like that she didnt even think twice about it! In my house on my couch surrounded by pictures of me n him! N then wen they were done she called me n acted normal, shitty part I didn't find out til hours later, telling me she loves me n so glad that I am in her life n taking care of her stuff cause she was going to jail for a dwi n I was making sure her rent n bills were paid cause she was my friend! I am so pissed! I need to know how to handle this cause as of right now I'm going crazy! O ya n he says nothing happened he doesn't no about the audio just yet n acting normal, not over nice n not mean or shady he's acting same old same old!

Deeply Scared posted 1/20/2014 20:05 PM

hurtlover...

I'm bumping your thread as I'm certain other can relate to what you're going through.

I'm sorry you're hurting.

Brandon808 posted 1/20/2014 22:21 PM

I cannot directly relate to what you're going through, but I had friends who went through it.

It does make sense that your best friend's betrayal would hurt more. I could be wrong but it has always seemed like the friendship dynamic with women was different. Often it is the best friend(s) who help them cope with their relationship issues. That friendship, friendship in general in fact, is the safe haven you can retreat into for comfort and support and understanding. Now this person has tainted that notion.

Clearly you were her friend but she never really was yours. Not if she can be so borderline sociopathic in her lack of remorse.

RealityStinks posted 1/20/2014 22:31 PM

You can expect your WBF to deny again and again even when you show him the audio tape. Be prepared.

I'm sorry you are hurting. Just know that none of this is your fault. They chose to do this to you. You deserve better.

Look after you right now. Let her take care of her own life and the same for him.

Hang in there.

Ellejay posted 1/21/2014 00:29 AM

I was married for 25 years and had my neighbor and closest "friend" did this to me.

Spend the next few days taking care of yourself and getting some counseling in place. Then kick the pair of them to the curb. There is a high risk he will be capable of doing this again and by then you may have a couple of kids added to the mix.

By the way, how did you manage to get an audio tape of it? Did you have some suspicions about his fidelity prior to this?

Sorry you are hurting so much. Take time away for yourself to think and remain strong.

Ellejay

Ostrich80 posted 1/21/2014 02:22 AM

I understand your feelings of betrayal, if one of my friends did that to me, I would be destroyed. It's two people you trust, scheming behind your back I'm curious too about the audio. Were you by chance confiding in her about your bf. I know someone that this happened to and the friend was pretending to be the supportive bestfriend but was using the info to her advantage. I hope you are done with her. As far as I'm concerned a friend like that shouldn't get a second chance but that's just me. I'm so sorry you had to find your way here but you will find a lot of support and helpful info.

hurtlover posted 1/21/2014 07:11 AM

I thought something was up after her bday cause she was acting different she didnt come over much or call me but one night my sister came over n my bf said to her that my friend told him I have been cheating on him n whole bunch of lies, when told me this I jumped my friend n she said she never said anything I didn't believe so I set up the audio when I knew she was coming over not to catch them but to see if she was talking shit about me, well she never talked shit just had sex with him! Ppl was always telling me Toledo her out of my life she's a bad person n I ignored them cause i thought I actually had a friend I could trust even tho I knew she cheated on every guy she ever had, I'm still planning on picking her up from jail n letting her have it even tho I'm starting to think that wont matter cause she obviously has no heart morals or respect for anyone

marionwendy posted 1/21/2014 07:38 AM

Girls like this are toxic. She is not a true friend. I wouldn't even pick her up, I would tell her id be there and never show up. I wouldn't take her calls or see her again. No one needs a friend like that. As for your WBF I would confront him see what his answers are then present him with the audio tape. it would be bye bye for the both of them. so sorry someone has done this to you but glad you found out who your friends are. True friends would never do this.

Gemini71 posted 1/21/2014 07:45 AM

My best friend since 4th grade slept with my husband of 16 years. Multiple times for over a year. It's the ultimate betrayal. Cut them both out of your life, you deserve better. Let her rot in jail, confronting her won't accomplish anything.

hurtlover posted 1/21/2014 08:00 AM

Lol I was thinking the same thing n say I'm coming n never show up! N I also thought that if I confront her it wouldn't do no good but then again I at least got it off my chest, next step will be restraining order cause last time I got mad at her for something I stopped talking to her for months n she would call me all day at work n I would never answer or swing by my work n if she was that desperate to talk to me she would show up at my house n I know she will do that again so I'm pretty sure I will get one!

marionwendy posted 1/21/2014 08:08 AM

Do what you have to, too get rid of her. Actions speak louder than words so by not picking her up you are telling her you wont tolerate this kind of behavior from her. She will know why! just ignore her calls and if she harasses you get a retraining order. There are consequences to all actions. Sorry but she lost a good friend, you on the other hand gained insight to what kind of person she really is.

hurtlover posted 1/21/2014 08:32 AM

Sad part that it took me this long to find out how bad of a person she is! I maxed out 2 credit cards helping her out! Ppl now these days u can't trust anyone cause no one is loyal or honest! No one shows respect anymore! N I no if I pick her up or not it won't matter to her she will think I will get over this n I don't mean anything, well if I pick her up n drop her off in the middle of no where with no phone think she will listen then lol

Brandon808 posted 1/21/2014 09:10 AM

I'm still planning on picking her up from jail n letting her have it even tho I'm starting to think that wont matter cause she obviously has no heart morals or respect for anyone

Please don't do that. She won't really listen to or care about your words. All she'll see is she got a ride from you after she slept with your bf.

Just let her find her own way home.

marionwendy posted 1/21/2014 09:34 AM

Please don't pick her up! all you do with that is let her back in.... she deserves nothing from you including a ride. Leave her there!