BS: me 44 (then 42)
WH: 50 (then 48)
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched
Keep reading and posting - the people on this site will really help.
First - Remember and keep telling yourself, that this was about her - about her weaknesses and her failing. This was not about you. You are the same guy she fell in love with - she is the one that changed.
Second - I would do the other guys wife a huge favor, and let her know. She deserves the truth - whatever the truth behind her marriage (and the story your ex-gf told you makes no sense).
As horrible and as devistating as this is, thank god you found out know and not a few years from now when you you have children to worry about.
Be strong - this will get better
Keep your head up and vent as much as you need!
Oh also...short term insomnia is normal, and if it continues you may want to see if getting ambien or something similar will help.
[This message edited by norabird at 9:28 AM, January 21st (Tuesday)]
As has been stated then her actions do not reflect in any way on you. Expecting honesty and fidelity from another person isn’t wrong, dumb or a weakness. Don’t worry about the office gossip. Your story will be the flavor of the week for a week and then something else will take its place.
I walked in on my fiancé having sex with another man. At the time I was a young rookie cop in a small city. Less than an hour later it was all over town. Frankly… I didn’t care… If anything I got support and sympathy. What others say or snicker at is the least of your worries right now.
Is there any chance that you will need to work with OM or your ex? Could that be a threat to your job security? Does your employer have any policy in place regarding this sort of behavior? It could be to your advantage to let HR know what’s going on.
Oh and Tundra… For me it was 6 months of hell before I woke up one day and felt… well… OK. A year later I was fine. Now – close to 28 years later – I think I would probably buy OM a beer to thank him for saving me from her.