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louise153 posted 1/21/2014 06:52 AM

My hubby started seeing someone just before xmas, our marriage has never been brill so i kind of pushed them together. Anyway i realised id made a huge mistake as i do really love him and i told him i didnt want him to see her again and he promised he wouldnt.

I found out the other day hes still seeing her, devastated isnt the word !! trouble is hes refusing to leave the house,he said i cant force him out and he still wants to see her.

im heartbroken, cant sleep and we have four lovely kids together,please say there is light at the end of the tunnel,i cant see it yet !

nekorb posted 1/21/2014 07:56 AM


I'm so sorry you're here. Others will come along with experience behind them to offer advice.

I just wanted you to know that you've been heard and that you WILL survive. It does get better, even if the situation doesn't improve. You are very early in it yet.

One thing I want to say though- you didn't push them together. Your WH bears all the responsibility for his decision to cheat.

NeverAgain2013 posted 1/21/2014 08:00 AM

Louise, first and foremost, don't take the blame for your husband's bad behavior. That's a choice HE made, and HE made it alone. You didn't 'push' anyone together.

Secondly, try to spend some time reading in the Healing Library - there's tons of articles and information in there that might help you and give you some guidance.

Unfortunately, most betrayeds find out their spouses didn't stop contact with their affair partners once the affair was discovered and they promised to cut all contact. They usually just take the affair a little deeper underground and try to hide it better while waiting waiting for the heat to die down.

Your husband is forcing a very uncomfortable, unhealthy, and insecure dynamic on your entire family. Does he honestly think the kids aren't going to feel the discord and tension in the house? Does he think the damned world revolves around HIM and he has the right to visit this dysfunction on innocent children who have no choice but to live in this hell he's created? Cheaters are some of the most self-entitled, selfish, self-centered people on the planet, so I'm not too surprised by his behavior. But you shouldn't stand for it.

It would probably be well worth your while to consult with an attorney and find out exactly what your rights ARE, should you need this knowledge down the road. Knowledge is power, and it never hurts to know exactly where you stand, Louise.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this position.

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