SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

WaryOptimist posted 1/21/2014 07:47 AM

Guess that's an EA, and I sure do feel back at square 1.

A week ago I got our cell phone bill, and I've always paid for the full detail on H's phone (no other family members). Trust but verify. Many, many texts to one number, starting around T'giving. It was not pretty when he came home, but I was the one who was "creepy" for looking at his phone.

Just before he came home, very late, I had called the number. A female answered, youngish sounding, denied, all those calls were mis-listings, didn't know what I was talking about, vaguely "knew" my H etc., etc., but apparently cold turkey she's stopped texting him and responding to his after that. Today I got the next phone bill, and while it verifies that the texting stopped the day I confronted, it also shows ramping up to double the texts from the first month to this last one.

He won't discuss, tell me anything about her or the relationship other than "she was someone I could talk to." Every 10 minutes for 11 hours??? And he's a municipal employee. I cannot imagine it didn't impact his productivity, or what would happen if this came to light.

Our MC called him out very clearly, told him straight out no "private" relationships outside the M. All H wants to do is forget about it, and make sure I do, too. I think this has doused the last ember of hope I had.

steadfast1973 posted 1/21/2014 08:09 AM

(((Waryoptimist)))

WarpSpeed posted 1/21/2014 09:06 AM

Blameshifting and rug sweeping. I'm so sorry. You are back at square one. Do you think he ever really did the work he needed to eight years ago?

lifestoshort posted 1/21/2014 09:11 AM

your gutt says its not right and an affair. you are right. I'd pack up and move or file.

Pass posted 1/21/2014 09:34 AM

The Princess also pulled the "creepy" card when I found out about her - apparently there was nothing creepy about her planning a threesome with her best friend and a married man. You husband may not be admitting it, but I'm glad you have confidence that YOU know exactly what's going on.

CATransplant posted 1/21/2014 13:31 PM

That is exactly how my H A started. It didn't end with a EA but within one month it was a PA with him in love. He could talk to her. I am sorry you are going through this. Please trust your gut!

Rebreather posted 1/21/2014 13:34 PM

I think this has doused the last ember of hope I had.

It would for me as well. I'm sorry.

determinata posted 1/21/2014 21:16 PM

(((Waryoptimist)))
I'm very sorry for your pain. I've been in hell with my own WS (completely different circumstances but still...) since 2007 and it is so dispiriting to be in this marathon of deceit. Whatever you decide or do, just know that one day you will heal from this although I know it is unthinkable now. Hugs to you.