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Newest Member: SadDadOf3 (46038)

User Topic: 75 texts in one day
WaryOptimist
♀ 19911
Member # 19911
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guess that's an EA, and I sure do feel back at square 1.

A week ago I got our cell phone bill, and I've always paid for the full detail on H's phone (no other family members). Trust but verify. Many, many texts to one number, starting around T'giving. It was not pretty when he came home, but I was the one who was "creepy" for looking at his phone.

Just before he came home, very late, I had called the number. A female answered, youngish sounding, denied, all those calls were mis-listings, didn't know what I was talking about, vaguely "knew" my H etc., etc., but apparently cold turkey she's stopped texting him and responding to his after that. Today I got the next phone bill, and while it verifies that the texting stopped the day I confronted, it also shows ramping up to double the texts from the first month to this last one.

He won't discuss, tell me anything about her or the relationship other than "she was someone I could talk to." Every 10 minutes for 11 hours??? And he's a municipal employee. I cannot imagine it didn't impact his productivity, or what would happen if this came to light.

Our MC called him out very clearly, told him straight out no "private" relationships outside the M. All H wants to do is forget about it, and make sure I do, too. I think this has doused the last ember of hope I had.


Me: The faithful one
Him: WS
4 great kids
Married 28 years, together 36
D-Day: April 1, 2006 (yep, April Fool's Day...)
Aaaaaas Yoooouuu Wiiiiiish...

Posts: 653 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Here & There
steadfast1973
♀ 24719
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Waryoptimist)))


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
WarpSpeed
♂ 32051
Member # 32051
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blameshifting and rug sweeping. I'm so sorry. You are back at square one. Do you think he ever really did the work he needed to eight years ago?


Me: BS (51)
Her: fWW (50)
Married 27 years
Two sons in college
Empty closet and note on bed Jan 2010, She filed for D Mar 2010, D final May 2010, Actually had D-Day and found out why it all happened July 2010. Remarried on 23rd Anniv Aug 2010

Posts: 1528 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Dallas
lifestoshort
♀ 18442
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

your gutt says its not right and an affair. you are right. I'd pack up and move or file.


6/07 EX had MANY affairs.
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09

Posts: 716 | Registered: Mar 2008
Pass
♂ 38122
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Princess also pulled the "creepy" card when I found out about her - apparently there was nothing creepy about her planning a threesome with her best friend and a married man. You husband may not be admitting it, but I'm glad you have confidence that YOU know exactly what's going on.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2157 | Registered: Jan 2013
CATransplant
♀ 39567
Member # 39567
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is exactly how my H A started. It didn't end with a EA but within one month it was a PA with him in love. He could talk to her. I am sorry you are going through this. Please trust your gut!


Me BS
H FWS
M 3/27/12 together since 06'
A EA/PA 4/19/13/5/26/13
DD 6/12/13
Forced NC 6/13/13
MOW coworker-caught,TT for six months.

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
Rebreather
♀ 30817
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think this has doused the last ember of hope I had.

It would for me as well. I'm sorry.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6693 | Registered: Jan 2011
determinata
42124
Member # 42124
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Waryoptimist)))
I'm very sorry for your pain. I've been in hell with my own WS (completely different circumstances but still...) since 2007 and it is so dispiriting to be in this marathon of deceit. Whatever you decide or do, just know that one day you will heal from this although I know it is unthinkable now. Hugs to you.


M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS

6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay


Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
Topic Posts: 8

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