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WaryOptimist (original poster member #19911) posted at 1:47 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
Guess that's an EA, and I sure do feel back at square 1.
A week ago I got our cell phone bill, and I've always paid for the full detail on H's phone (no other family members). Trust but verify. Many, many texts to one number, starting around T'giving. It was not pretty when he came home, but I was the one who was "creepy" for looking at his phone.
Just before he came home, very late, I had called the number. A female answered, youngish sounding, denied, all those calls were mis-listings, didn't know what I was talking about, vaguely "knew" my H etc., etc., but apparently cold turkey she's stopped texting him and responding to his after that. Today I got the next phone bill, and while it verifies that the texting stopped the day I confronted, it also shows ramping up to double the texts from the first month to this last one.
He won't discuss, tell me anything about her or the relationship other than "she was someone I could talk to." Every 10 minutes for 11 hours??? And he's a municipal employee. I cannot imagine it didn't impact his productivity, or what would happen if this came to light.
Our MC called him out very clearly, told him straight out no "private" relationships outside the M. All H wants to do is forget about it, and make sure I do, too. I think this has doused the last ember of hope I had. 
Me: The faithful one Him: WS 4 incredible, grown kids Married 37 years, together 44 D-Day: April 1, 2006 (yep, April Fool's Day...)Aaaas Yoouuu Wiiiish...
steadfast1973 ( member #24719) posted at 2:09 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
WarpSpeed ( member #32051) posted at 3:06 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
Blameshifting and rug sweeping. I'm so sorry. You are back at square one. Do you think he ever really did the work he needed to eight years ago?
Me: BS (58) Her: fWW (57)Married 28 years
2 awesome sons graduated college in 2015
She left Jan 2010, She filed Mar 2010, Div final May 2010, She shared it was an A July 2010, Remarried Aug 2010
lifestoshort ( member #18442) posted at 3:11 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
your gutt says its not right and an affair. you are right. I'd pack up and move or file.
Im 45. 1st H I left in 2001 after 3 kids. narcassist.
2nd exH had MANY affairs.FALSE R. cheats again. D 5/09. 2 kids. I got 100% custody. ex hasnt seen kids in 6 yrs.
2014 to now: dated highschool sweetheart. He cheated w 23 yr old & left.
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 3:34 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
The Princess also pulled the "creepy" card when I found out about her - apparently there was nothing creepy about her planning a threesome with her best friend and a married man. You husband may not be admitting it, but I'm glad you have confidence that YOU know exactly what's going on.
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
CATransplant ( member #39567) posted at 7:31 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
That is exactly how my H A started. It didn't end with a EA but within one month it was a PA with him in love. He could talk to her. I am sorry you are going through this. Please trust your gut!
Me BS
H FWS
M 3/27/12 together since 06'
A EA/PA 4/19/13/5/26/13
DD 6/12/13
Forced NC 6/13/13
MOW coworker-caught,TT for six months.
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 7:34 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
I think this has doused the last ember of hope I had.
It would for me as well. I'm sorry.
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
determinata ( member #42124) posted at 3:16 AM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
(((Waryoptimist)))
I'm very sorry for your pain. I've been in hell with my own WS (completely different circumstances but still...) since 2007 and it is so dispiriting to be in this marathon of deceit. Whatever you decide or do, just know that one day you will heal from this although I know it is unthinkable now. Hugs to you.
M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS
6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay
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