Me: BW 51 at the time(didn't have a clue)
If I need the 2x4's feel free to swing them.
Yesterday morning I went to an AA meeting with H. My reason's for going were:
1. Because AA is an important part of my H's life and he needs it to stay sober, and I want to share that part of his life with him. I also learn, from the program, about staying grateful and all the other good teachings...
2. Because I have become friends with many people in the program as well and love seeing them.
3. Because I had the morning off from work with H and like spending time with him.
This is the meeting where he met OW, and though she rarely attends it now, there was a chance that she would be there. When she does show up, my H leaves, but if I'm with him, then we can choose to stay if we are both comfortable.
OW wasn't at the meeting... It was a good meeting and I saw some friends
Afterwards we went to H's workplace which was closed for the day. I needed H to unlock the restroom there, and made the comment to him, "Oh, I should have used the restroom at the AA facility."
He said, "No, there's a lot of transient usage there."
This caused me to trigger and although I kept quiet, after awhile, H asked me what was wrong.
I told him that it really hurt me that he put my health at risk when he attempted to have intercourse with OW without a condom. And although
he didn't succeed either times to having actual intercourse with her, that was his intention.
My feeling was that he didn't think this was a big deal...that he got tested for STD's and they were negative and so I should just let it go already.
He is trying in R, but when he makes the comment "No, there's a lot of transient usage there." I feel like he doesn't get the fact that what he did was far worse than me catching something from a toilet seat.
My question is, am I wrong in voicing my feelings when I trigger? At 20 months from Dday, should I be keeping this stuff to myself? Was I wrong in general for linking his transient comment to what he did during the A????
Please set me straight on this..2x4's welcomed.
Thanks for reading this novel.
Him: FWH 54 at the time(extremely remorseful about his stupid midlife crisis)
Married 27 yrs at the time
PA that lasted approx. 2 weeks. OW was a younger but totally screwed up %#@%!