[This message edited by tonic0405 at 4:19 PM, January 21st (Tuesday)]
I asked my fWH to respond in writing to some of it and also read that.
I think this is normal to revisit until you don't need to and is how trauma is handled as we work thru it. I also used these to test my reactions as time passed.
Coming up on a year and just reread them and handled well. Time really gives perspective and makes me feel pity for my fWH for betraying himself too. Psycho bitch was a bunny boiler and actually taught him a good lesson.
[This message edited by whattheh at 5:20 PM, January 21st (Tuesday)]
I hope you have some books that you both are looking at. He needs to know that this is normal and he just needs to keep trying to rebuild trust and answer questions.
Time will take care of a lot of the turmoil. Try to delete the pic of the letter as soon as you can. I know you are obsessing right now and that is also normal. We all hear you and have all been in that seat on the coaster. It truly is hell. Hugs. K
I did have to seal my copies of everything. That kept me from rereading it, and re-experiencing that direct pain. Of course it does not take out the memories.
I also had the feelings of not wanting to stay, but not wanting to leave also. It takes time. YOu don't have to make decisions now.
Take care of yourself and have patience. It takes a while.
As for the last months of improvement going down the drain...maybe you feel the same intensity right now, but tomorrow or the day after you will rediscover the progress you've made since then. And it really only means that you aren't rugsweeping, which is good!