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Flashbacks, anyone?

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Howie posted 1/21/2014 16:19 PM

Basics, after 5 years of marriage, discovery of wife's two year affair (with "best" friend), 6 month separation, much work, both of us, for reconciliation. Followed by (so far) 15 years of partnership and,I can hardly believe it -after the horrible pain, happiness.
But, maybe 3 times a year, from a song, a film, too much downtime, the floor under me splits up and I am falling again towards the pit of hell. The same thoughts all the way down - her smiling face, lying; the shame of not discovering (I must deserve this), the anger because I will fight fight, not be defeated and "beat" the past.
I can, partly, discipline my thoughts and gradually the gravity of my real life pulls me up.Like movie magic, the floor comes back together. And life goes forward.
Sound at all familiar?

steadfast1973 posted 1/21/2014 17:09 PM

I still have dreams from when he was foggy, and could say such cruel things without any feeling.

Kalliopeia posted 1/21/2014 17:20 PM

yes, a hundred flashbacks. Getting laughed at to my face and told how sick I was for trying to make other people believe he and I had a relationship. ( his emotional affair a year or so ago wasn't supposed to know we really were together, a diamond on my hand)

He told me he had just been trying to be nice to me and laughed in my face. When I was in the act of informing the ladies spouse, my fiance began to threaten calling the police to stop me.

I was like wtf.

I hate the flashbacks that come as I am being told i was always loved and wanted and I remember at the same time something like what I just told about the police.

Razor posted 1/21/2014 17:48 PM

Yes still flash backs.

Behavior patterns of WW that is similar to LTA behavior. Places where they went I cant go to now.

Yay for us enjoying this gift that keeps giving.

brokendancer7 posted 1/21/2014 21:25 PM

Yes, I have a couple every so often. The one where he is on his knees, saying, "I swear on my mother's grave that I am not having an affair," as I cry, about 2 weeks before DD.

The other, where H falls asleep, his phone slipping out of his Ambien-ass hand. I pick it up and lay it beside me on the bed for a few minutes, dreading the trip to Hell that I have a feeling I am about to take. Finally, I pick up the phone, and right there is a passionate text from OW.

Ugh, just thinking about those moments is making me break out in a cold sweat and feel sick, but at least I have consciously brought them out of my mind. The really bad times are when they suddenly hit you out of nowhere and knock you to the ground.

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