I'm allowed to have deal breakers too.
Are we talking about dealbreakers, though, or grievances?
Regardless of status, Reconciliation only works if both parties are coming to the table with everything they can (at the present.)If you guys are still trying to figure out whose transgression was worse... you're missing the point.
You ARE allowed to have dealbreakers, as is he. So, what are yours? That's where you draw your own line. Figure out what you will accept as a work in progress, and what you can't get past and let that be your guide.