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why does this have to be so fucking hard? why doesn't he just get it? why is he being so damn stubborn? I know he isn't the same man before the A, and its my fault for the most part, but his entitlement and selfishness are making him into a different person. he had an A too, why doesn't he get that? I'm allowed to be angry too. I'm allowed to have deal breakers too.

he is a liar, and I can't trust him, and he isn't doing anything I ask to build that trust. I, on the other hand, used to be a compulsive liar, and I am doing everything under the sun to change that.

i'm so tired of it all

What exactly are you holding onto? It doesn't seem like this relationship holds anything positive for you anymore.

I'm allowed to have deal breakers too.

Are we talking about dealbreakers, though, or grievances?

Regardless of status, Reconciliation only works if both parties are coming to the table with everything they can (at the present.)If you guys are still trying to figure out whose transgression was worse... you're missing the point.

You ARE allowed to have dealbreakers, as is he. So, what are yours? That's where you draw your own line. Figure out what you will accept as a work in progress, and what you can't get past and let that be your guide.