My WH keeps asking me how he can gain my trust back and I just don't know so I've switched gears.
I am trying to put together a plan that will allow us to stay married until the day I decide I can trust him or that I want out.
About the only way I see us together is if I have a well-thought out escape plan.
My initial thoughts are total separation, financially. It has taken a year to do that and it's still not complete. If he cheats again, I need to be able to pick up and go.
I would move back in but he would have to sleep in a different room. I will not risk getting herpes or something.
He will sign and notarize an admission of his infidelity so that it will not be necessary for me to prove it in court. We live in a no fault state but the distribution of assets and spousal support are often determined by the circumstances of the split and financial need.
He will sign off on a reasonable amount of spousal support so that we won't have to fight over it in court.
I don't want to 'control' him and I hope he will find ways to be more transparent with me but, I think the escape plan is all I can accept in lieu of divorce.