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mof2 posted 1/22/2014 18:30 PM

I feel like I'm almost there. Like I'm getting over it completely. But the strange thing is this is what my life has consisted of ever since he walked out. I was consumed by it for so long. I do not miss him and even a little sad for OW having to take on his problems. Is this a normal thought or am I now the one going crazy?

Virginiagirl posted 1/22/2014 18:51 PM

I feel like I'm' almost there, too. I now have the certainty that I don't want to be with him, period. It feels wierd to feel so at peace after months of thinking about this 24/7. I am still waiting/expecting some kind of emotional setback. In the meantime, while "it" is all still on my mind, the voices are a little quieter now. Thank god. I just took 10 giant steps forward. I expect to stumble back a couple steps at some point maybe, but progress is progress! :)

mof2 posted 1/22/2014 18:57 PM

Virginiagirl, I stumbled back too. I had to get past 2013. That was hard, but I'm finally making progress. I still have my bad moments once in awhile, but I really feel like I am getting there. My therapist said the grieving process takes one to two years. I'm just approaching the first year, but I think I've progressed so well because of the way he did it and that we have absolutely no contact. No contact is HUGE!!! If you don't have kids, it is the best thing ever to heal!

thebighurt posted 1/23/2014 01:12 AM

No contact is HUGE!!! If you don't have kids, it is the best thing ever to heal!

Totally agree, mof2. My children are adults with their own families. The only contact I have had with xpos in almost two years is seeing him in court. (He has sued me twice since D asking the judge to force me to give him money.) Well, that and seeing him drive past and stop at the end of my driveway. What that is about is still a mystery to me, except that he is a pos and can't seem to let it all go. Still blames me for everything.

ETA: NC has been the best thing for my healing.

Oh, I forgot that he also sends me mail periodically. I guess just so I don't totally forget him.

[This message edited by thebighurt at 1:15 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)]

Virginiagirl posted 1/26/2014 10:31 AM

I can't wait to get to NC. Right now our $ is still all together, I still handle joint bills, etc. Plus 2 kids. Aarg.
We just re-separated a couple weeks ago and I told him I want to get started on really nailing down finances & responsibilities ASAP. Our house has been on the market for months and until we pull the equity out of it (and even after) we are crippled with debt and bills we can't pay. I cannot WAIT until I only have to deal with my own $!!! He's the NPD big spender and I shop at thrift stores and pack lunch every day. I am always broke and cuz of the nature of his job he has cash in his pocket and I have to take his word for what he makes cuz its mostly under the table.
Hence the reason for keeping it civil- if it got nasty he can hide at least half his earnings from the courts. It's like a big weight hanging over my head, keeping me nice.