WH and I have been both been in IC since shortly after dday. For the most part mine has been a safe place to get out my feelings of frustration and anger. I wasn't too thrilled with WH's progress until recently when he realized (thank you SI) he need needed to be more active in directing the focus to figuring out his issues. That he couldn't just let his C lead because he might not get to where he wants to go. He felt he made a lot a lot of progress in his last session and he even did some writing that he shared with me, yay!!
I have told WH that I need him to dig in and figure his stuff out for me to really feel safe in the M. It makes me very happy that he has started doing this but I'm also worried he won't stick with it and I'll be let down again.
We started MC last night to try to help with our communication. She said something that made me think that she believes the BS shares some responsibility for the A. WH said he didn't think she meant it like that so I'm going to ask her to clarify at our next session.
If WH figures out his issues that led to the A, works on fixing them and we are also able to work on our pre-A issues, we should come out stronger right? My question is how do I get over him completely disregarding my feelings for over three years? That the man who was supposed to love me for better or for worse became this selfish person that I didn't recognize and didn't give a thought to how all this would affect me. How do I move past that?