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trigger now really sad.

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yestopants posted 1/23/2014 15:10 PM

Why is it so hard to let go? Today I met my cousins brand new baby and when I held him I just started to cry. I felt terrible and selfish for thinking of me, instead of the beautiful life I was holding. It made me think of everything I have been through with XWH and all the things he is giving up. What does anything mean without your kids and unconditional love?

I finally got all the paper work together to serve him CS and C. I will be sending it tomorrow. I hate that after all the years together NC is the healthiest choice for me. Every time Iíve broken NC itís just equaled cruelty and hurt for me.

The last time I sent him anything to do with realityÖ..I was unfriended/blocked on FB and so was my family. I donít even go on FB, my sister told me and it hurt. Itís all so incredibly immature.

How do you let the little stuff slide and deal with the child these WS have become? I really donít just donít understand. Itís like Iím doing this to him and I am not allowed to have feelings or be hurt.

BAB61 posted 1/23/2014 15:17 PM

deal with the child these WS have become? I really donít just donít understand. Itís like Iím doing this to him and I am not allowed to have feelings or be hurt.

^^^^ THIS, yes this is exactly what I'm dealing with as well. Although my STBX has been NC with me ... it's as if he's reading my posts here and is doing what I say I'm going to do. I don't think he is really, but it's freaky.

[This message edited by BAB61 at 3:18 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)]

yestopants posted 1/23/2014 16:03 PM

It truly is incredible. Sometimes I read through posts here and wonder if this all is some sort of disease?? WS say so much of the same stuff. Their actions are predictable to the SI vets because it's all been doneÖ.

thanks BAB61 right there with you. hugs.

Thefly559 posted 1/23/2014 17:29 PM

Yes unfortunately their actions are all the same. You stay true to you , fix you, all else will work itself out. I am sorry we all have to deal with these animals, yes I said animals because humans should not treat other humans like this. Stay strong.

PurpleRose posted 1/23/2014 17:38 PM

it's as if he's reading my posts here and is doing what I say I'm going to do. I don't think he is really, but it's freaky

not so crazy-- the Dooosh is in IT and was monitoring my online activity even after I kicked his sorrynotsorry ass out. He found me here and actually gave printed pages of my posts to my boss trying to get me in trouble at work (unsuccessfully). He shared this place with his family and friends so they could all come read my feelings and fears too. What a prize the whore got!

I don't know if he still trolls my posts anymore or not, don't really care, but it can and does happen.

LifeIsBroken posted 1/23/2014 18:06 PM

YesToPants: I think you have to come to the realization that your ws doesn't care about you or how you feel or how he makes you feel or what he does that hurts you. He doesn't care. Which means you must care. YOU must care about YOU. You wish your ws hadn't done all the miserable things he has done to rip you apart. But he has. You can't change what he's done, you can't change him. But you CAN change how you react to his idiocy and hurtfulness. Change your perspective and it will become easier to deal with him. It will become easier because after awhile you will have steps in place inside your own mind to block him from your day to day life. It stinks when he acts like he does. You would like him to wake up and return to earth. Probably not going to happen so protect yourself until you won't care anymore. So sad that any of us have to live through this storm but just keep wading and, eventually, you'll reach the other shore and life will be good again.

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