Thank you guys for your replies.
DDay was January 13, I had stayed home to do some catch up paperwork when she was out taking the kids to school and left her phone charging.
Her phone rang and the number calling was an out of state number that had several txt messages saved.
I read those and in them she was really using terms of endearment toward the OM and in one of them she asked him how was his Christmas, and if he got the presents he wanted. That if he was nice, maybe he would get lucky to open her present....
My whole world collapsed.
In 2010 the company I worked for when bankrupt, I had to take a job with a company that paid a bit less in terms of dollars but almost required twice the hours.
We have three children 13, 11, and 9, so I went to work to pay the mortgage and support the family. I have been working long hours since then, and she told me I became distant and pulled away, in that she is right. I did only focused in working hard to keep it together financially.
She tells me that she felt, abandoned, neglected, and rejected by me. That every time that she told me to work less hours I would get angry. I would get angry because she would not help me keep the budget, she would continue to spend like before I had been laid off.
Well, we became insulting and disrespectful to each other to the point that I would stop talking to her.
I must admit there were time after fighting she would cry and I would approach to console her and she would lash out at me, I would not insists and would tell her to go screw her self.
I became jaded and bitter.
From when we met, things were much more different. We were both in excellent shape, in my teens and early twenties I had been bodybuilding and was something of a ladies man. She was very sexy and even after three children she has kept the same weight and shape as when we first met.
I am 5'11" and when I met her was 220 Lbs of very lean muscle, and stayed petty much that way until about 3 years ago when I went up to 290 lbs with most of my weight going to my gut.
At the beginning and up until my layoff we were very loving and intense with each other, very sexual and intimate with one another.
I started going back to the gym back in November of 2013 and I am currently down to 255 Lbs. My old shape is fast coming back and that has made me feel real good.
This thing though, has destroyed my heart and ego. By nature I am a very competitive man, and cannot fathom being second to this guy.
I asked her to tell me everything and to give it to me straight, no holds barred thinking that she would spare my feelings of hurt. I told her I need to know everything and every detail.
After a day, we sat down and talked, she told me she felt lost, and abandoned by me. That she found the OM attractive and that she liked him. I asked him what is it that she liked about him, she told me that she like the idea of getting fixed up and dolled up for him, but after being with him she would feel ashamed and disgusted with herself. That many times she would have to leave and ask herself what the hell she was doing when she had her husband at home.
I had her tell me about the sexual positions, and what they talked about. I asked her if she had made plans with him for the future and she said no.
From what she told me, the guy is not even close to the man that I am, but that made it even worst for me because it made me rage inside. How could she go for someone so freaking inferior than me I thought.
In a fit of controlled anger, I told her to give me his number, she did and I called the OM. He didn't answer, but in front of her I said "Hey Peter, this is Charles, you can keep my whore" left the message and hung up.
She started to cry uncontrollably, telling me how much shame she felt and if that was really necessary for me to do. I said to her, yes, that was necessary for me to do, so you and him know I will not be anyone's second choice, and will not take his sloppy seconds.
I took the children to my mother-in-law and left them with her a few days, picking them up and taking them to school while the rest of the story trickle out of her.
[This message edited by suchislife01 at 8:19 AM, January 24th (Friday)]