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Trying something new. Serious Mojo needed.

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HeartInADustpan posted 1/23/2014 18:58 PM

Been awhile since I've posted. Read everyday, but literally have nothing different to say. If I did reply or post a topic, you would have been able to go back in my archives and read the same thing almost verbatim. Nothing new, same thing, same...same...same. I'm in a loop. A very excruciating loop and have been for a lot longer than I've even realized.

I read a ton. I've read every recommended book I've heard on SI. Then I found Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing and there I was in black and white. Now I don't necessarily think it is stemming is entirely from KB, but my previous M to XH#1 which ended because of infidelity. I'm sure I stuffed a lot of that before even meeting KB. He was just the straw that broke my back.

Anyway, I'm off to my first PTSD therapy in 5 minutes. I'm scared. I hate doctors. I hate disclosing stuff to strangers. I hate pills. I hate everything to do with with this. I have to get out of this loop though. I've already taken one xanex and am seriously considering taking another when I get there.

Please SI family...I don't ask for much, but I need some serious mojo.

Rebreather posted 1/23/2014 18:59 PM

I hope this is the ticket, Heart! Good luck.

AFrayedKnot posted 1/23/2014 19:01 PM

Prayers on their way.

unfound posted 1/23/2014 19:08 PM


it IS scary, but you won't be in there alone . Mojo coming your way.

ILINIA posted 1/23/2014 19:51 PM

Here's some more mooooojjjjjoooooo!

Read PISD as well. Personally, the acronym appeals to me because I AM pissed

njgal480 posted 1/23/2014 20:04 PM

Transcending Post Infidelity Stress Disorder by Dr. Ortman was extremely helpful for me as well.
I was definitely traumatized by the LTA.
IC helped me so much. We addressed the trauma as well as everything else I was dealing with post d-day. I also went to a therapist for EMDR therapy specifically for the PISD.
The first few sessions were a little rough (because you have to delve into your trauma). But it did help me.
Sending mojo your way.

AML04 posted 1/23/2014 20:21 PM

Best wishes Heart!!!

20WrongsVs1 posted 1/23/2014 20:36 PM

You know the definition of bravery, right?

Being afraid and saddling up anyway.

You're a courageous woman!

DixieD posted 1/23/2014 20:44 PM

Sending you tons of mojo Heart.

I remember feeling exactly the same way. Nervous and untrusting of the medical profession -- they had failed me in so many ways before -- and I was soooo angry that I had to go and do this because of what my husband did!! It was so unfair. My husband's affair was the last straw for me too.

EMDR helped me more than I can say. It was a life-saver for me.

I remember the PISD book too. It is good. However when I got to the part about forgiveness, anger welled up inside of me and I tossed the book across the room. I took that as a sign I was not ready to get that part yet.

Good luck with everything.

Skan posted 1/23/2014 20:45 PM

Major MOJO for you! And loads of (((hugs)))

HeartInADustpan posted 1/23/2014 21:41 PM

Just an update. We talked for almost 1 1/2 hours getting background and such. He thinks I've spent most of my life around too many narcissistic people (DUH!), but was surprised how knowledgeable I was on the "instructional" process of healing from infidelity (thank SI and a dozen books for that. ) He pretty much ruled out depression based on how I explained my cycles and is considering EMDR and Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulation as treatment options right now. I am nervous. I'd like to be optimistic, but...

Thanks for all the MOJO. It helped get me through knowing people who didn't know me from Sam were rooting for me.

sisoon posted 1/24/2014 08:55 AM

Hang in there, Heart. Healing thoughts on their way to you.

refuz2bavictim posted 1/24/2014 09:14 AM

Sending lots of mojo for the right treatment and healing.

steadfast1973 posted 1/24/2014 09:35 AM

Just bought the book for my ipad.

Skan posted 1/24/2014 17:53 PM

What a great, long talk for a first session! Can't wait to hear what you have to say after the next session!

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