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Newest Member: LonelyandUnsure

Just Found Out :
I triggered bad

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 AndreaL (original poster member #41522) posted at 2:48 AM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

So, each day gets a little easier, meaning I'm not an emotional mess that I no longer cry in the grocery store with people staring me. But I have become enraged with the ow. She's a whore!!! I want to run her over. I am the most calm person normally but I am consumed by this slut! I just don't understand people who get involved with married men, I just don't! This woman tried to steal my husband and make him her new baby daddy. I just ache for my children, I can't say I regret marrying him, as I feel that would be like regretting my children, but I am so angry. I uses to be 'normal', now I'm on antidepressants and am seeing a therapist. Is this my new life?

Can someone tell me when they start to feel like a version of their old self? I just want to be me again. I hate that my husband did this to me, and by virtue of HIS choice. Not to me to mention I think he has cracked because he hates himself. I just want to run away and move to a new city.

Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile

posts: 313   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6653605
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4everfaithful83 ( member #41761) posted at 2:58 AM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

I can totally relate!!

It def. sucks not to feel like yourself! I too sometimes feel like I'm not me. These thoughts usually end in me being even more pissed at my WBF, because he made me this way!

I'm about 7 months from DDAY and I can say that it does get better with time. I realize that sometimes hearing that doesn't help at all because you feel like time is going at a snails pace...but it really does.

I definitely do not feel the same as I did in the beginning, or even a month ago. Every day is a struggle, I have good days and then I have bad days.

Are you guys in MC?

Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 36
1 doggie
DDay: June 24th, 2013
DDay 2 : August 22nd,2017

Left him August 26th, 2017

posts: 818   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2013   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 6653620
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SadInNC ( member #42170) posted at 2:58 AM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

I am with you! I just joined this site and wrote my first post tonight. It's the one "My Husband Cheated when my mother was dying." I am also very angry. I am not on an antidepressant but I went to the doc and she gave me xanax and sleeping pills for the past few weeks. If I could afford a therapist, I would totally go! I'm glad that you can do that. I am still living with my husband but it is literally a roller coaster. You may have chosen the better path. I wish you goodness, healing and truth :)

BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person

posts: 355   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2014   ·   location: North Carolina, United States
id 6653621
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 AndreaL (original poster member #41522) posted at 3:03 AM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

We are not in MC because I am so angry. I can't even think about reconciling with him. He wants to but I am so angry. I hate him. How did this happen to me?

Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile

posts: 313   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6653626
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EB1541 ( member #42143) posted at 9:15 PM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

I am with you. Some days I feel like it would just be easier if I could just forget everything that happened. But i know that won't do any good. Just hang in there. Your life will be what you make it! It's a lot easier said then done.. ((hugs)) I'm sorry you are here.

D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 23 his age:27
One wonderful son together

posts: 90   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2014   ·   location: California
id 6654834
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 AndreaL (original poster member #41522) posted at 9:39 PM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

I'm sorry for all of us 😞 my WS just picked up the kids to take them for an early dinner and they were crying because they didn't want to go. They are so confused and I feel like such a shitty mother. Going to be another long night...I can't take much more of this and I'm on antidepressants!

Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile

posts: 313   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6654866
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Uhtred ( member #40392) posted at 12:44 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014

I totally get where you are coming from. I too have the same pain and feelings as you. I am fortunate that my wife is trying hard and doing all the right things.

I totally get the hatred toward the other person. My new counselor said something to me today that I'm going to try and keep with me.

She said by allowing them to consume your thoughts you are allowing them to win. I was able to confront the other man and maybe that's why I'm slowly letting him be a distant memory in my mind.

With that said I wouldn't pull him from a burning car. I'd probably get a bag of marshmellows out and enjoy the roast.

Me: BH 38years old DDay 4-29-13Her: FWW 39

posts: 669   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 6655082
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 AndreaL (original poster member #41522) posted at 12:56 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014

I think I'm coming unglued...i really do. I hate myself and I hate my life. My therapist says take one day at a time but I consumed by my thoughts. I want to move...every time I drive by the hospital my husband works at I start shaking. I just want to be me again. How do people survive this? Because maybe I am to weak. I always thought I was strong but this may be too much for me.

Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile

posts: 313   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6655090
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TryingToReboot ( new member #42125) posted at 1:02 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014

I agree with you all, this is such BS!! I find myself really hating both the AP and my WW. I just can't believe how much WW has changed from a few months ago. I wonder not, what rock did she crawl out from under. And AP, I can only hope that someday this shit blows up in their faces like an A-bomb... and they deserve much worse!!!

posts: 34   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2014   ·   location: Grand Rapids
id 6655097
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 AndreaL (original poster member #41522) posted at 1:04 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014

Totally. I just want revenge...and I'm not that person. I need to get my act together because I'm scared I'll be headed to the nut house soon. I literally am obsessing.

Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile

posts: 313   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6655099
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 AndreaL (original poster member #41522) posted at 1:06 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014

Btw...did anyone develop OCD when finding out about the affair? I keep looking in my house for evidence multiple times a day, all day long. I'm obsessed!!!!

Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile

posts: 313   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6655100
This Topic is Archived
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