SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

I'm thinking of breaking no contact...

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

mesoSTUPID posted 1/24/2014 00:00 AM

Today is OW's Husband's birthday. We were very close and had a friendship of many years.

I have been thinking of breaking no contact and texting him to wish him a happy birthday not because I really want to wish him a happy birthday but because I know it will ruin OW's day when he tells her I text. I am the BS by the way, before anyone freaks out on me.

I never told OW's BS about the A. I worried that he would leave her as this is not her first A and they have 4 children.

On 2/8 it will be 2 years since D-Day.

I have not told WH of my intensions to text OW BS. I am concerned that my texting him might give her incentive to communicate with WH. In reality, I don't know if OW and WH have really maintained NC all this time.

I don't know what I want to do...

hitbyatruck posted 1/24/2014 00:25 AM

NC is NC. Do not stir up trouble.

[This message edited by hitbyatruck at 12:25 AM, January 24th (Friday)]

karmahappens posted 1/24/2014 07:35 AM

I have been thinking of breaking no contact and texting him to wish him a happy birthday not because I really want to wish him a happy birthday but because I know it will ruin OW's day when he tells her I text.

I think it is a shitty thing to do to OWBS...

Not only does he not know about the A, he lost friends and doesn't know why and now you want to use his birthday as a way to piss off OW?

I think it's hurtful and cruel.

sisoon posted 1/24/2014 08:59 AM

No truer words than karma's were ever said, IMO.

BUT - if there's a positive outcome from breaking NC???

Nope, I can't imagine a positive outcome from your breaking NC this way.

refuz2bavictim posted 1/24/2014 09:29 AM

There is only one justifiable reason I can see for breaking NC:

Telling the BS the truth.

If you have no intentions of doing so, then it would be unkind to add more deception into his life.

Holly-Isis posted 1/24/2014 09:43 AM

Ditto karma's post. You're screwing with the poor BH's head more than OWs.

By keeping keeping the secrets of your WH and OW you're colluding with them by your lack of action for him to live in a false M. So, already you've taken his choice to choose away from him, a friendship- he doesn't know why it really ended- and now want to use him to get to the OW?

I'm sorry, but this is pretty selfish thinking.

painfulpast posted 1/24/2014 12:19 PM

She should have been worried he would leave. He has a right to know about what his 'wife' is doing. She'll keep doing it if this isn't her first go round. I feel very sorry for him.

What does having children have to do with truth? If you didn't know, would you want someone else to decide what's best for you?

Gottagetthrough posted 1/24/2014 15:30 PM

don't do it

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.