SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

One year antiversary

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

pizzalover posted 1/24/2014 11:20 AM

Today is our one year antiversary. One year ago at this exact time I told my BH I cheated on him. Yesterday (a year ago), my former AP's BH called me to tell me she knew. My world exploded. I can't believe a year has gone by, but I have made so many positive changes and have been working on myself and my marriage. I will post a longer post later on to talk about my achievements/realizations, but for now I want to say I am thankful EVERYDAY for the second chance I have and that my BH still wants me in his life and still loves me. I am grateful for the gift he has given me and I love him very much.

MercifulH posted 1/24/2014 12:31 PM

Thank you for sharing. My DDay happened on 01/03/13, and I am still swimming in a sea of uncertainty. It is encouraging to see someone who had an affair that lasted about as long as my WW's affair and managed to make it work. I hope I am able to work things out with my WW as you have with your BH.

[This message edited by MercifulH at 12:32 PM, January 24th (Friday)]

2yrsblind posted 1/24/2014 12:41 PM

I have a question, you don't have to answer you owe me nothing. But why would you be engaged and married if you were already involved with AP?

Jrazz posted 1/24/2014 12:44 PM

We're glad you're here and working on yourself and your marriage.

Hold your BH tight, the anti's are rough but with you being his rock he will weather it much better.

Brandon808 posted 1/24/2014 13:14 PM

@pizzalover,
Glad to see a positive update.

@2yrsblind,
FYI - There is a thread in the I Can Relate forum for BS to ask WS questions.

Lucky2HaveMe posted 1/24/2014 13:18 PM

The ICR thread is for BS asking general questions of a WS. 2YB had a specific question based on Pizza's post...

Anyways - Please share your thoughts with your BS. The worst thing is for a WS to think "Oh I'm not going to mention anything cause I know it's a tough day for her" That's how my WH chose to deal with it. The one piece of advice I with every WW would take is to not be afraid to bring up the A and the aftermath. Trust me, we are thinking about it and it helps tremendously to know you are too

Congrats on making progress! Keep on swimming!

SandAway posted 1/24/2014 21:16 PM

Good to 'see' you pizzalover

Keep up the good work

Darkness Falls posted 1/24/2014 21:56 PM

Sending support and encouragement through the air for you, PL.

Brandon808 posted 1/25/2014 00:06 AM

The ICR thread is for BS asking general questions of a WS. 2YB had a specific question based on Pizza's post...
I misunderstood then. When I first saw the question it read to me like a general type of question I would see in ICR.

2yrsblind posted 1/25/2014 00:22 AM

I have the answer by reading. OM is MOM and unavailable, was BH your second round pick at the time? Knowing MOM wouldn't leave his wife. That's how I would have felt.

[This message edited by 2yrsblind at 2:03 AM, January 25th (Saturday)]

pizzalover posted 2/5/2014 12:13 PM

I apoolgize for waiting so long to reply. Thanks for all of the comments everyone. I appreciate it.

I have a question, you don't have to answer you owe me nothing. But why would you be engaged and married if you were already involved with AP?

2yrsblind, this is a very good question and something that I am actively working on in therapy. My IC has a theory that my relationship with my BH was the real thing - what a real relationship should be - love, friendship, safety, pain, daily BS, happiness, sadness, realness all rolled into one. My "relationship" with AP was an addiction. Compartmentalization was present - this I can't quite understand how my brain was able to separate the two things.

I have the answer by reading. OM is MOM and unavailable, was BH your second round pick at the time? Knowing MOM wouldn't leave his wife. That's how I would have felt.

I don't want to invalidate your feelings, because you have the right to express and feel whatever you want. However, I NEVER ONCE wanted to leave my BH and my AP NEVER ONCE wanted to leave his wife. I know this seems absurb, but it is the truth. I can understand how you or my BH might feel this way, but I had NO INTENTIONS of leaving my BH.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.