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Divorce/Separation :
Fathers and Daughters

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 Lola2kids (original poster member #32789) posted at 5:24 PM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

My twin DD's have a friend at school whose father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about this time last year.

He deteriorated after this new year started and I just found out he passed away last night.

I can't help thinking that my girls have lost their father as well.

They have lost their father to selfishness and his desire to "be happy".

I lost my father when he turned his back on his children more that 10 years ago when he took on a new and what he thought was a more sympathetic family. (Long story. I haven't seen or spoken to him in about 12 years.)

I am in tears for my girls' friend, my girls and me.

It's just not fair.

BS: (Me) 48
Kids: twins DD(11)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved an ocean away June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

posts: 1813   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2011   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6654390
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:29 PM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

((((DDs' friend))))

((((Lola & DDs))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6654397
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devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 11:12 PM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

Hugs Lola. It sucks, I know. I'm here if you need someone to get it all out to.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6654973
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Later ( member #39375) posted at 12:03 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014

Brother, I am right there with you. I am angry at how unfair it all is.

POS OM is with his family, My STBX is with our kids.

I didn't commit adultery and I am the one on the outside looking in.

All we can do is love them and have faith.

posts: 385   ·   registered: May. 28th, 2013
id 6655041
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ProbableIceCream ( member #37468) posted at 12:11 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014

Is he not involved with your daughters?

posts: 881   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012
id 6655046
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 Lola2kids (original poster member #32789) posted at 1:34 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014

Not really.

A total of 5 overnights last year and a whopping 3% visitation. I documented.

His DOW fiancée lives in Europe so he travels there frequently.

He did not want a set visitation schedule in order to be free to travel.

His choice.

BS: (Me) 48
Kids: twins DD(11)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved an ocean away June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

posts: 1813   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2011   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6655124
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 Lola2kids (original poster member #32789) posted at 1:40 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014

Thanks DM.

I had to tell them the news when I got home from work and I started to cry. They were not upset, only concerned that I was upset.

My DD1 hugged me and said "it's ok mommy".

She had to console me. I really didn't want her to have to do that.

I sucked it up pretty quickly and told them their friend would need them now more than ever.

I'm not sure they fully understand the loss of someone this close. It's very hard because I think about the loss of my mom almost 20 years ago.

BS: (Me) 48
Kids: twins DD(11)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved an ocean away June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

posts: 1813   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2011   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6655131
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