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Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: Don't know what I feel anymore
heartbroken7110
♀ 36818
Member # 36818
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I have been in R with my WH for a few years now. He has been working hard to get my trust back for the past 5 years. We have both been in counseling on our own & MC. It's been a rough few yrs BUT finally he has slowlyyyyyy won my trust back. Everything has been going great BUT I now feel like all this work could b for noth


Me:30 Him:34
Married 8 yrs (together 16years)2 Kids
Dday 4/08 (TT until 9/11)
Slowlyyyy paving the road to R...most days.

Posts: 87 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NJ
heartbroken7110
♀ 36818
Member # 36818
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My post was cut off! Sorry!!

So I feel like all this was for nothing. I now feel like I'm not toys lily in love anymore. At least not the way we should be. YES I do love my husband BUT in the way one should love, feel, & look at there spouse...not so much:( all this work to end up feeling like this!? So confused...anybody else climb over this mountain, get to the top, & feel like ummmm now what!? :( sad day to b writing this day...


Me:30 Him:34
Married 8 yrs (together 16years)2 Kids
Dday 4/08 (TT until 9/11)
Slowlyyyy paving the road to R...most days.

Posts: 87 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NJ
somanyyears
♂ 26970
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

..

..has he done something to set you off??

..have you come to realize that your feelings have changed??

..you've been in R for ??5?? years.. has your H just been coasting for the last while.. maybe you're on that dreaded plain of Lethal Flatness..

..are you still communicating with him honestly?

smy

[This message edited by somanyyears at 3:38 PM, January 24th (Friday)]


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4134 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
heartbroken7110
♀ 36818
Member # 36818
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Somanyyears thanks for your reply.

I guess I hate to admit but my feelings have changed:(

NO I have not communicated my feelings to my spouse yet...kinda hit me like a ton of bricks today. Was driving & boom....


Me:30 Him:34
Married 8 yrs (together 16years)2 Kids
Dday 4/08 (TT until 9/11)
Slowlyyyy paving the road to R...most days.

Posts: 87 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NJ
somanyyears
♂ 26970
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..are there still issues unresolved from his A?

..are you detaching slowly.. becoming less and less connected?

..are you just in a funk and maybe in a few days, you'll feel better?

..have you had a vacation from each other in the last year??

..are you and he connecting on 'any' level?

..has your M just turned into 'blah'.. no zip, no life, no more highs?

..can you do something to turn that around?

..would you want to?

sorry you're feeling so bummed out.. many of us here, will second guess our choice to stay, especially those in a long established M.

..sleep on it and see what the morning brings...

..take care of you, first and foremost!!

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4134 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
Topic Posts: 5

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