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Happening Again....Maybe running with our child- What to Do????

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betrayedinSC77 posted 1/24/2014 21:07 PM

Hi Everyone-

I posted about a year ago about how my wife was having an affair and like many didn't know what to do. The affair lasted from 9/2012 until 7/2013. All of you gave me great advice and I appreciated it. It finally ended after I contacted his wife to alert her as to what was happening and then him as well just to tell him to fuck off. She ended it for him but my wife was Livid/Pissed, etc. I actually didn't care. She felt I broke "her" trust by doing that...and that I was only thinking of myself...can you believe it!

Anyway after living in hell for the past year or so...we finally started couples counseling in late November of 2013. Things seemed to be improving...though our counselor kept saying we shouldn't discuss the affair because it happened in the past. Needless to say after 4 sessions I demanded we find a different counselor.

Anyway...over past 2 steps forward. We both started new Jobs on 1/2/2014. My job is going well. Over the past 2.5 weeks there has been a polar vortex (sorry couldn't resist) that has come upon our marriage again. The communicating, reconnecting, being open, all but disappeared.

In her first 2 weeks, she had to go to Atlanta for 2 nights for some quarterly business meeting and then to Vegas the following week for 5 nights for sales kickoff training. Her phone is still under my name so I did something I had not done in months. I logged in and saw that starting 2 days after the Atlanta trip, she started texting a co-worker. Then the calls started...then Vegas happened...over 300 text in 5 days there together...then after Vegas the hour long phone calls started every day while I was at work.

Sick to my stomach...a search of her computer shows searches on new sex moves, ways to please a man, can affair lead to real relationships and the kicker- Can I cross state lines with a child without my spouse knowing/approving....Clearly we are now in a whole different ball game. It appears she wants to go visit her new boyfriend in FL and has looked at plane tickets and things to do in the city in which he lives. It no longer is about my life in hell, she is now messing with our 8 year old child who I love dearly and who I have been the primary caregiver for over the past 2 years while she was traveling all the time.

What do I do? I'm going to call my attorney on Monday but am I able to file an injunction to prevent her from traveling with her to a fricken new guy she just met. My hopes for saving our marriage are clearly over and now need to face reality of the hell of divorce over the next year...any advice would be appreciated.


twillett333 posted 1/24/2014 21:13 PM

I don't have any advice for you as I am new here. Just found out about my WH affair last Tuesday. I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this. It just really sucks!!!!!

Chippednotbroken posted 1/24/2014 21:27 PM

I don't think you can file an injunction but as part of the preliminary divorce papers you should be able to say that neither of you can take the child out of the state till final,divorce decree is done. Not sure on that though. Sorry for what you are going through. The thought of mine taking my kids terrifies me. Would she ask you if she can take daughter on trip? I.e. trying to maintaine that nothing is going on? If so I would make up a reason that kiddo can't and file papers on her while she is FL.

scarednbroken posted 1/24/2014 23:11 PM

I would check with your atty right away.

My stepdaughters mom took her out of state while he was at work. Flew "home" and didn't return. He had to fight to get her back. (Yes this is the same man that is now my WH). Technically a parent has a legal right to take their child anywhere they go. As long as there are no court orders against it. I was told this when fighting for custody of the step daughter years ago.

Good luck. And for the record - what an irresponsible parent to take a young child anywhere near a sexual relationship not her father or parents spouse!!! Omg. It makes my skin crawl......

Brandon808 posted 1/24/2014 23:25 PM

Most states will not allow a child to be moved out of state without the other parents consent. However, correcting that once someone has already done it gets messy. You're dealing with two different jurisdictions. Get to an attorney immediately. You need to be preemptive on this. Unless you have something filed with the court it can be much harder because you don't have anything explicitly on record against her doing this.

Go for full physical custody. Bring every shred of evidence with you.
Sorry your stbxww has her head so far up her arse.

Dreamland posted 1/24/2014 23:32 PM

I am so so sorry... What's wrong with these people...
I would call your attorney immediately. Protect your child and yourself.

TryingToReboot posted 1/25/2014 01:50 AM

BTDT...... Talk to you lawyer about filing an exparte order not allowing the child to leave the state. You need to kick her in the ass (not literally) hard and fast. An exparte will do it and expose the relaionship. Do some research on the guy, see if he's married..... Expose, expose expose. You may want to notify the company WW works for. I'm sure they have rules. Asked WW to leave! Yu need to make this a crisis for her, not for you. Don't be the victim!

Hurthalo posted 1/27/2014 00:29 AM

Betrayed: Bloody hell, it's like she was actually trying to get caught?!? So blatant. At least you've seen her true colours now, and you know that you can deal with it, despite it still hurting you.

Lawyer up, that sounds like a solid action.

JanaGreen posted 1/27/2014 00:34 AM

I'm so sorry - you might want to try the divorce/separation forum, there will be some experts there.

Althea posted 1/27/2014 11:24 AM

You can get an ex part order to prevent either parent from traveling out of state with the child; BUT these orders are sometimes very difficult to obtain. Really depends on the state and court you are in. Print out her search history, particularly where she is searching leaving the state with your child. Print out everything you have related to past/current affair behavior. Pull together everything you have that shows her to be a flight risk.

Finally, start gathering everything you have that shows you have been your child's primary caretaker for the past two years. You may be in a situation to seek preliminary orders granting you primary custody.

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