"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

SusanR posted 1/25/2014 08:29 AM

WH just sent me a text stating he wasn't going to clear my driveway today because he was at a "track thing" this morning.

1. I didn't ask him to clear my driveway, in fact, I replied to a text he sent me last week that I really needed him to leave me alone.

2. He used many of his "track things" to cover his A over the years.

3. He used the money he made clearing snow to conduct his affair. He always told me that was "his" money do spend as he saw fit so I didn't ask questions. The snow removal, mowing, and "track things" accounted for 1000s of dollars and 1000s of hours. Lies!

I so desperately want to tell him to say "Hi!" to his skank for me. But, alas, I will take the high road and give him crickets!

Chrysalis123 posted 1/25/2014 08:48 AM

Good for you, Susan. Be snarky here instead.

The only reason he told you that is to push your buttons. Have you considered hiring someone else to plow for you? Don't tell him, just have it done. You don't need him at all.

Williesmom posted 1/25/2014 09:19 AM

I would normally give him crickets, but in this case I would let him know that it's been taken care of- even if it hasn't, it would let him know that you're not sitting around waiting for him to rescue you.

Gemini71 posted 1/25/2014 10:12 AM

"Dear Sir, your services are no longer required. Sincerely, SusanR."

SusanR posted 1/25/2014 10:17 AM

Part of what he blames his A on is that I didn't make him feel like I needed him. She did. He can go plow her driveway! I bet she would enjoy it. She would tell him how wonderful he is and how lucky I am to have him. She would tell him I don't appreciate him enough. I know. I read her stinkin' emails after he fixed our dryer a few years ago. Apparently, I should have sucked his dick in gratitude. She would have, every day for weeks! Doesn't matter that I washed and dried his damn clothes for 17 years! Snarky, snark, snark!

I like the idea of hiring someone else to do it. We are supposed to get a bunch of snow here this week. If it warms up a little, I'll do it myself. If not, I'm sure there are plenty of other options. I'd like to see the look on his face if he comes by and it's already done! I'm not going to even reply because I have asked him nicely to give me some space. It's so typical of him to ignore my request.

He is supposed to reply to the final draft of our separation agreement by 2//01/2014 or my attorney is going to file for a divorce. She said she has grown weary of his stall tactics. I bet he won't be concerned about my driveway after he gets served.

[This message edited by SusanR at 10:19 AM, January 25th (Saturday)]

osxgirl posted 1/25/2014 21:23 PM

So you probably shouldn't respond with something like:

"I thought I'd made it clear that I no longer needed YOUR services to plow ANYTHING around here."

Ah... The implied meaning would probably fly right past him anyway.

[This message edited by osxgirl at 9:24 PM, January 25th (Saturday)]

Pass posted 1/25/2014 21:27 PM

It sucks, Susan. They just say so many snark-worthy things these days. It gets harder and harder to hold our tongues.

SusanR posted 1/26/2014 05:32 AM

He texted me again later in the day yesterday to make sure all was okay and ask if we needed anything (I was babysitting our granddaughter). I simply replied, "Nope. We're fine".

I am kinda in a holding pattern until Feb 1. Want to see if he replies to the Separation Agreement or if I have to switch to a divorce action.

I expect big changes after that. One more week. I cried after both times he texted me yesterday. Insists he loves me and deserves a 4th chance to crush me. It's really all about what he needs and wants. He really wants me to need him and is not willing to wait it out. That's part and parcel with his SA.

I definitely need separation. One more week.

tesla posted 1/26/2014 08:07 AM

There were times ex-shat would offer to help with something around the house after he had left. My reply was always, no thank you, I've got it covered.

You have no idea how much pleasure it gives me to have someone else plow my driveway...when he pulls up in the drive to pick up Teslet for his weekend. I would love to say to him, "See, fucker? It's not rocket science to get someone to plow the driveway, mow the grass, or learn how to powerwash the house and hang Christmas lights."

And yet these OWs fawn over them for doing things that only require a brain stem.

Snark away. But snark away here

jemimapd posted 1/26/2014 10:09 AM

"See, fucker? It's not rocket science to get someone to plow the driveway, mow the grass, or learn how to powerwash the house and hang Christmas lights."

I may need to steal that as my new tag line, Tesla.

Oh, the martyred moaning and groaning which went before and after mowing the grass. Then he wouldn't blow the grass off the drive, it just sat there in big clumps. It was the only thing he did. The lights generally went up a week before Christmas, iif at all. I did everything else, yard and house.

I plowed the driveway because apparently, "it didn't actually need doing, it will melt on its own."

When he left, I actually felt a bit confused about why things didn't feel very much different. Then I realized why: I had been doing everything on my own anyway.

Mousse242 posted 1/26/2014 16:29 PM

Do any of your neighbors have a plow or snowblower? Can you offer them a few $$ to do it (hopefully they will just do it for you)?

nowiknow23 posted 1/26/2014 16:44 PM

Insists he loves me and deserves a 4th chance to crush me. It's really all about what he needs and wants.

Amen, Susan. It is ALL about him. Sending you strength for this week.