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Notsaralee posted 1/25/2014 09:00 AM

It's been seven years since we went through our "ordeal." Things are good, I think. I was looking at my husbands profile on Facebook last night, snooping? Maybe,....and saw a new friend who is 15 years younger than him and looks exactly like his AP from lo those many years ago, except way younger. I looked her up on google, no info, no pic, not even the Facebook pic. No real info, a few friends, none my husband knows except that a few are Norwegian and so is he. Encouraged by the wine I was drinking and the fact that I'm on a trip to visit my mom, I went into his Facebook and blocked her. Now I feel like I should have been more clever. What if I'm just making shit up in my head because I never stopped being paranoid? He's been awesome and did all the right things, still continues to do the right things. I need some perspective.

SadInNC posted 1/25/2014 09:11 AM

Hi. Sorry that you don't trust your husband. I am in the same boat. I have blocked girls on his facebook accout after I found out that he had an PA and a year long EA with atleast one of them. I still feel like I have only TT coming in and it really sucks.

If I were you, I would go back in to his accout and unblock this girl. Then I would check it every singel day to see what they are doing. She is the cheese and he is the mouse. Otherwise, how will you ever know what his true intensions were going to be with her?

Obveously, don't let on to him that you are spying, Good luck!

Notsaralee posted 1/25/2014 09:18 AM

SadinNC, I unfriended her too, so unless I pretend to be him and friend her again, it won't work. If I was as good at my job as I am about checking on my husband I would be famous.....

SadInNC posted 1/25/2014 09:22 AM

Pretend to be him and send the friend request again. You have nothing to loose. She is proabaly stupid and might think it was a glitch in facebook or something. LOL

Jrazz posted 1/25/2014 18:19 PM

If things are going good, would it be possible to just flat out talk to him about this?

I wouldn't re-friend the person. This sounds like a can-o-worms that's just going to make you feel worse in the long run.

What it REALLY worth addressing is the paranoia that we all know so well, unfortunately. Has he never come clean, or do you really feel that this is just a lingering after-affect of the affair. I want to lend perspective, but I don't know how close to the trustworthy line your H dances.

(((Notsaralee)))

Notsaralee posted 1/26/2014 00:46 AM

Thanks Jrazz, I sent him a text as I'm a coward and out of town. He's a terrible liar. My instincts say that he accepted a friend request from someone he didn't know because he's one of those really smart dumb people. My instincts also say that it's his XAP, she's never left us alone, but lives in a different country. She's good at finding ways to keep in touch without getting caught quickly. I'll wait for him to reply and that will tell me what I need to know. If he knows anything about it, it will come out quickly. Like most of us,this isn't my first rodeo. He has always been transparent and very good with my triggers. I'm sad that I'm still paranoid, my problem, not his.

hopefulmother posted 1/26/2014 12:01 PM

Don't sweat it. If you blocked her...he will slip up soon or freaking out that he got caught.

Even if it wasn't her...what the Hell is he doing being friends with a 15yr old girl?

Chicky posted 1/26/2014 14:46 PM

^^^15 years younger than him, which would make her 36 years old.

Also, if he "has always been transparent" then why don't you already know about her if it is indeed his XAP? I doubt she would send the request and he accept and not communicate at all...

Notsaralee posted 1/26/2014 16:01 PM

He replied to my text, he said he accepted without thinking, he accepts all requests, he assumes he knows them. He knows now it's not a real Facebook account, the person in the picture doesn't exist. He doesn't think it's the Xap, she's not that subtle. I'll do a little sleuthing when I get home, but he has no problem with me going through all his stuff and looking, I have to assume that's him being as transparent as possible. He's 50, and a 35 year old that he thinks is someone's relative....never mind, this sounds like bullshit. I will remain calm, ring Carson for tea, and sleuth the shit out of everything when I get home......