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Karma is a Bitch

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Gemini71 posted 1/25/2014 13:03 PM

So STBXH was arrested (see prior thread) and we bailed him out, 'cause I'm awesome that way. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=520455&HL=40115

Today the Court website was updated and shows his charges. One count Attempted Solicitation of a Child - Aggrevated Criminal Sexual Abuse, one count Attempted Grooming, and one count Attempted Traveling to Meet a Minor. According to STBXH they were filed at misdemeanors, but according to the state's website, they can all be upped to felonies. He is soooo screwed!

Because of the nature of his crimes, I can't/won't spread this on FB or in RL. My kids could be hurt by that. But here I can share with people who understand the mixed emotions of horror, disgust, and satisfaction.

To my way of thinking, he's being punished for the wrong act. He never met the minor, but he had a LT PA with my XBFF. Now that deserves prosecution. But that's not the way the world works. So I'll take what I can get.

careerlady posted 1/25/2014 13:36 PM

He is getting exactly what he deserves but it's not karma, it's consequences

Skan posted 1/25/2014 19:11 PM

Make sure that your lawyer has copies of all of this for the possible time in the future that he decides that he wants to have more custody!

solus sto posted 1/25/2014 19:57 PM

No, karma would involve not being bailed out when arrested for crimes against children.

I'm sorry this is polluting your life.

Nature_Girl posted 1/25/2014 19:58 PM

Here's my male alter-ego reading your post:

Griefstricken25 posted 1/25/2014 20:04 PM

I agree, consequences, not karma. I hope he gets the full punishment allowed by law (in my opinion, the law is pretty soft on sexual crime).

And please, please, please, never bail him out or help him in any way ever again.

Gemini71 posted 1/26/2014 13:30 PM

I'm starting to realize that I've been so consumed with the double betrayal from his PA with my BFF, and worrying about if he messed with DD that I haven't even really processed his illegal actions. This is really the first outside proof I've had of his Mr. Hyde personality, and it's just like another D-Day. I don't know why I didn't realize that of course he minimized this incident, because he minimized everything else. My only excuse is that I'm overwhelmed with everything, and can only process so much at a time.

I will not bail him out again! My folks have already pointed out that they are done with him. I realized I'm still foggy about STBXH when I spoke with his brother who said "This had better be about the same incident as last time." It didn't even occur to me that it could be another attempt to solicit.

So STBXH has paid us back the bail money. I have notified my lawyer. Now we are waiting for STBXH to plead or be found guilty to file for full legal custody. Reading the actual charges and their definitions is like reading the Divorce filing for the first time. You know what its going to say, but its still a punch in the gut.

Thank you for the gentle 2x4s. I needed them.

nowiknow23 posted 1/26/2014 13:36 PM

(((((Gemini & kids)))))

Softcentre posted 1/26/2014 14:17 PM

He's not the man you love. That man is a fantasy, not reality.The real man is the one arrested for soliciting a child. Just to reassure you, paedophiles are VERY plausible lovely people on the outside. That's how they get to abuse. He has gradually and deliberately groomed you for years, it would be remarkable if you could just snap out of it straight away.

So now you're starting to realise it's true, deep down. It's going to hurt a lot. Please don't beat yourself up for not seeing it and for not really believing it deep down until now. Who would want to believe that anyone they know is capable of this, let alone someone they love? I'm hoping you're in IC?

I hope he didn't do anything to your DD. As horrible as it is, you do need to get her checked out.

So many ((hugs)) to you.

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