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compassion is limitless?

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morethantrying posted 1/26/2014 00:00 AM

so i came to some new makes sense to me how it happened...even why...not saying it was "okay" FOO issues major at play...not all...but there quite big...

but now what do I do with that "understanding" much compassion and understanding can one person tolerate?

Is compassion limitlessness? Understanding never ending?

why does having compassion and understanding seem to "hurt?"

[This message edited by morethantrying at 12:03 AM, January 26th (Sunday)]

Jrazz posted 1/26/2014 00:02 AM

I think that true compassion occurs when we are able to muster almost complete objectivity. When the "hurt" doesn't apply because we don't look at in terms of our reaction.

morethantrying posted 1/26/2014 00:04 AM

yes, having objectivity seems so strange...I feel like a psychiatrist talking to feels strange...yet I was so hurt...yet I can stand back as is a very odd mix...

Morhurt posted 1/26/2014 00:11 AM

Most days I have that for my H (not tonight, tonight I have zero). I can even almost have compassion for how hard being a WS must be, seeing the hurt and devastation you've caused.

But honestly, tonight it feels unhealthy. So now I'm not sure. I was going to post yesterday asking if R could move too quickly. Now I'm not sure I'm still considering it at all (R).

Perhaps it's the roller coaster, perhaps it's the compassion I felt for him turning towards me... I'm not sure.

morethantrying posted 1/26/2014 00:24 AM

oh mohurt hang in there! there are SO days like that! With a remorseful spouse it is sooo worth it I think...just let yourself have a bad is okay. go ahead and feel good and sorry for yourself.

As for said so many insightful if you feel all that you can make it through R....just a bad day...or a will pass.

I now see something thanks to the posts here...two different me had a conversation about one of the A with him today:

One me, the psychiatrist type(or outside friend?)talked with him objectively -- without feeling...only as an outsider in some sense the same time .....

The OTHER me, the wife, the lover, the friend, sat by observing and feeling sad and a bit hurt and yet that other me still had understanding and compassion...

so now I SEE more clearly (thanks to you both!) how the two MEs are there and existing together....having both at the same time is a very weird feeling...

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