My divorce was final in Jan. 09, husband cheated. I got into a relationship with an old hs boyfriend just 4 months later (bad, I know). We dated two years (lived an hour and a half apart, saw each other every weekend). I ended it in March 2011. because I realized it wasn't what I ultimately wanted long term.
I stayed single (2 dates total) from Mar '11 until June 2012. I went on an impromptu 'date' with a guy I used to work with that I could never picture myself with. We had a blast! We laughed until I was in tears, and went out again. It turned into a full blown relationship. The last two weeks though have been very hard for us. The relationship felt almost forced. I haven't done things that I used to do for him (bake, give cards, etc). Our conversations have been difficult, at best...we can literally sit in a room together and not talk.
Last night we addressed it, and decided to take a break. I cried and cried, but today I woke up relieved that I dont have to deal with that uncomfortable silence. Also, the past while, I have been getting stressed and felt depressed because I felt stuck. I don't know that I am happy in my job, and he will live here forever, and I just felt like the walls were closing in. We were randomly looking at houses online, and I would get excited, but then wake up wondering if this is what I really want.
The problem is, he is the best boyfriend I've ever had. He opened my car door every single time - rain, snow, whatever. He was very attentive, showered me with gifts, etc. I just sometimes questioned my attraction to him, and i feel terrible saying that, because there is so much more than that. I certainly have my share of flaws. We didn't have the best intimate life, and toward the end we struggled so much, that we just kind of stopped.
I am okay being by myself, but I am so afraid to let him go, because guys like him just don't come around that often:(.
But you do! You so totally do deserve all of your dreams and desires to come true. Don't rush it.work on making yourself happy and complete. Happiness attracts happiness.
The other 4 letter word, time, will help. I know it's hard.
Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.
I cried and cried, but today I woke up relieved that I dont have to deal with that uncomfortable silence.
I will definitely give it time. I also need to take up some new hobbies (and make some friends).
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
I think chemistry is too important to ignore. Sure it waxes and wanes over the years, but it seems like you two are pretty early on for it to have faded.
I am perfectly content in being alone (maybe a little too content with that), so why would I settle for anything less than everything that I want? Why do I have all of this guilt? He deserves someone better than me, who would feel so lucky every day to have him, and isn't with him because on paper, he's perfect. Ugh, why am I struggling with being honest with myself and my feelings?