fWW 40s, BH 40s
BH's youngest brother (of 5 boys), we'll call him Skippy, is 30 years old. He failed out of college because he just stopped going to class after we paid his tuition for him. He quit his job because they made him made and he just walked out. He was living in a property his parents own and they were supporting him. Paying for his phone, internet service, all utilities, food, gas, insurance on their vehicle that he has, everything. He plays video games all day. That's what he was doing instead of going to class too.
This has been going on for several years. BH's parents have asked us several times what they should do, what is wrong with him, what can be done, etc. He has had numerous medical work ups finding nothing wrong. We recommended a psychiatrist and a IC. He would take the meds for a week and say they weren't working or made him worse, after being told several times it takes 4-6 weeks to see if meds are helping. He said his body is different and he can tell if they will work after one dose. He walked out on the IC because she told him he was full of shit (he says), and he refuses to go back. Of course his parents can't say enough how horrible that IC was to treat him that way.
Anywho…MIL calls tonight for BH who is over an hour late home from work (when I stopped by to drop something off for him he was dealing with an ER full of crazy and several traumas as the only doc). She needs BH to write his brother a rx for his psych meds because Skippy refuses to call his p-doc's office for a refill. Skippy says that when he saw the p-doc last he told him he just doesn't feel well enough sometimes to do things for him self and would like his parents to be able to call the office for things for him and the p-doc said it was ok. But, when his mommy called the office the office staff said Skippy will have to call himself. This made Skippy mad because he says the doc lied to him.
So anytime MIL has a problem she calls BH (the oldest of 5) to solve it. Then when things don't work out he is blamed.
On the phone tonight I told MIL that BH swore he would never write Skippy a rx for psych meds because last time he did that Skippy said they made him feel worse and his parents blamed him. I told her I would ask BH to call Skippy as she requested and he could tell him to call the p-doc for a refill.
She cried, said my BH was often selfish, and he needs to buck up from feeling blamed when things don't go well. She also said they have done a lot of things to help us, blah, blah, blah. She then said don't even bother telling him to call.
Maybe I shouldn't have engaged her…. Probably I should have just taken a message and passed it on to BH. I just know the kind of day he has had and didn't want him to come home to deal with the FOO crazy.
We need an intervention.
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.