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Topic: What part of "I don't date married men" is ambiguous?!

hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866

Posted: 7:13 PM, January 27th (Monday), 2014

I list on Match that I do not date married men. Not only do I list it in my "must haves" (never married, widowed, divorced), but I say like three times: "I do not date married men. If you are married do not message me. Seriously, I will track down your wife and tell her."

What part of that says "Hey if you're married you should totally message me."

Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

Posts: 15457 | Registered: Jun 2006

nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226

Posted: 7:23 PM, January 27th (Monday), 2014

The part where they don't bother to read your profile? Or they read it as a challenge? Or they read it and think they're SO special and amazing, it must not apply to them?

Blergh on all three counts.

You can call me NIK

“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön

Posts: 28442 | Registered: Aug 2011

norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092

Posted: 9:23 PM, January 27th (Monday), 2014

I hope you do track down the wives!!!!!

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4282 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC

hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866

Posted: 9:30 PM, January 27th (Monday), 2014

I just ignore them most of the time. Got pissed today at one and just responded "sorry I don't dare married men." He responded "ouch, harsh. For the record I'm getting divorced." I just hit block. What's harsh about staring the fact that you are married and I don't date men that are married? I think ignoring that request is harsh!

Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

Posts: 15457 | Registered: Jun 2006

better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341

Posted: 9:35 PM, January 27th (Monday), 2014

yes, there seems to be a "I'm separated; I'm not married" mindset...close cousin to the "We're separated even though we are still living in the same house"; which is only slightly removed from the "my wife doesn't know and therefore I am discreet". Not all are creeps, but the once who aren't quite divorced don't understand it is too damn early to be dating...

2 years into this dating in life's prime thing, I don't even like dating recently (like in the last 6 months recent) divorced men...

There is just so much "broken" out there and dating isn't the way to "fix" yourself people....

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3269 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa

Bluebird26
♀ 36445
Member # 36445

Posted: 2:13 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014

Because they are so special that you will forget all that baggage.

Separated is not divorced, wish they would get their lives sorted first.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

Posts: 1453 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia

Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554

Posted: 10:20 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014

But but but!!!!! My ex would tell you that separated IS divorced. Well, it's not married, that's for sure. And if you're married "in name only", then you're not really married. At least that's what he told me...

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10496 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA

Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810

Posted: 6:56 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014

When I was doing OLD, I found that listing what you don't want, no matter what, is a complete waste of time, and often attracts those who want to prove you wrong. Oddly, it's much more effective to mention everything as a positive, like, "I highly value the sanctity and intimacy of commitment and want to be with someone else who shares that value."

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 14059 | Registered: Jul 2011

better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341

Posted: 8:46 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014

I think Ama's right...very few people seem to read all of a profile...they're looking at the pictures and hitting the highlights.

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3269 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa

Topic Posts: 9

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