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What part of "I don't date married men" is ambiguous?!

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hurtbs posted 1/27/2014 19:13 PM

I list on Match that I do not date married men. Not only do I list it in my "must haves" (never married, widowed, divorced), but I say like three times: "I do not date married men. If you are married do not message me. Seriously, I will track down your wife and tell her."

What part of that says "Hey if you're married you should totally message me."

nowiknow23 posted 1/27/2014 19:23 PM

The part where they don't bother to read your profile? Or they read it as a challenge? Or they read it and think they're SO special and amazing, it must not apply to them?

Blergh on all three counts.

norabird posted 1/27/2014 21:23 PM

I hope you do track down the wives!!!!!

hurtbs posted 1/27/2014 21:30 PM

I just ignore them most of the time. Got pissed today at one and just responded "sorry I don't dare married men." He responded "ouch, harsh. For the record I'm getting divorced." I just hit block. What's harsh about staring the fact that you are married and I don't date men that are married? I think ignoring that request is harsh!

better4me posted 1/27/2014 21:35 PM

yes, there seems to be a "I'm separated; I'm not married" mindset...close cousin to the "We're separated even though we are still living in the same house"; which is only slightly removed from the "my wife doesn't know and therefore I am discreet". Not all are creeps, but the once who aren't quite divorced don't understand it is too damn early to be dating...

2 years into this dating in life's prime thing, I don't even like dating recently (like in the last 6 months recent) divorced men...

There is just so much "broken" out there and dating isn't the way to "fix" yourself people....

Bluebird26 posted 1/28/2014 02:13 AM

Because they are so special that you will forget all that baggage.

Separated is not divorced, wish they would get their lives sorted first.

Nature_Girl posted 1/28/2014 10:20 AM

But but but!!!!! My ex would tell you that separated IS divorced. Well, it's not married, that's for sure. And if you're married "in name only", then you're not really married. At least that's what he told me...

Amazonia posted 1/28/2014 18:56 PM

When I was doing OLD, I found that listing what you don't want, no matter what, is a complete waste of time, and often attracts those who want to prove you wrong. Oddly, it's much more effective to mention everything as a positive, like, "I highly value the sanctity and intimacy of commitment and want to be with someone else who shares that value."

better4me posted 1/28/2014 20:46 PM

I think Ama's right...very few people seem to read all of a profile...they're looking at the pictures and hitting the highlights.

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