My marriage was just about perfect before my husband's ONS. As perfect as a relationship between two imperfect people can be anyway.
Then he had a moment of weakness while we were living separately for 6 months, and now on good days things are back to "normal."
However...it makes it weird...hard?...for me because I feel like nothing has changed. Everyone talks about having to make changes to make sure that he doesn't make the same mistake again, so you can fix what caused the bad decision in the first place, etc.
Well, he was only partying like a frat boy because he was out here living alone and had nothing better to do on a Saturday night after a hard week of work (very physically intense job). But now that I am here, that is not an issue. He doesn't go out unless it's a special occasion for a friend or something. (It's always been that way since we've been married...absolutely no issues with partying or drinking or anything.)
He will go away for a month or two for TDY again in the future (military) and there will be deployments, but deployments are not exactly party central. Either way, we have discussed at length new boundaries for when he does go out alone in the future, and I feel comfortable with them. So that is basically the only thing that needed changing.
Lately he has been getting frustrated feeling like nothing he does is enough for me, and he IS trying VERY hard to be what I need, and most of the time doing a great job. BUT it just feels very scary to me to just go back to the way we were with no visible difference in behavior.
If I want to have a great, loving relationship, I should be happy to go back to the way it was, since it WAS great. I wouldn't change a thing, but it just feels so strange to be like "before" when I read everyone's stories on here about how their WS changed.
If you got through this whole thing, thanks for reading! I don't even know really what I am looking for with this...anyone else experience this? Any advice on how to feel better about going back to the same relationship I already had (with a few differences given what happened, obviously but overall basically the same...)?