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180 fail..

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EB1541 posted 1/28/2014 12:37 PM

Okay so I have been trying the 180 lately and it's been tough for me to stick to it but I have. It's 26 days after dday But now my husband is saying the I am acting like a "dick" and that he feels like I don't appreciate anything he does for me. Idk if I should stop or just keep trying?

Jrazz posted 1/28/2014 12:41 PM

Reserving emotional reactions sometimes brings this out in people... but wow. Calling you a "dick"?? If you needed any indication that you need to detach emotionally from him, that would be it. You can be polite to him without serving him cookies and wiping his bottom.

Do the 180 to protect yourself. He's either going to be startled into treating you with more respect, or he's going to spiral into selfishness. Either way, you are doing this to protect your heart and gather your strength.

Regarding your seeming lack of "appreciation" - what exactly is he doing right now that he feels he's earned that? It IS good to indicate when we appreciate the work that our WS is doing, but if he wants you to fawn over things like taking out the garbage or NOT going out to a bar for one night, he's not really in the program.


EB1541 posted 1/28/2014 12:54 PM

Thank you Jrazz! You are right I need to keep doing the 180 to protect myself.

But he says I don't appreciate that he's "trying." He's SAYS I can see his phone or ask him questions whenever I want. But when I actually ask he gets agitated with me. And it's funny you mentioned taking out the garbage because he brought that up yesterday LOL. That was the first time he did in months and I he only did it because I asked and my knee is dislocated right now. But other than than he hasn't done anything... He expects me to constantly thank him for working.. I think he is just acting like a baby. And he is very selfish and it's been showing more lately.

steadfast1973 posted 1/28/2014 12:56 PM

You just got married?

EB1541 posted 1/28/2014 17:54 PM

Yeah. November 3.

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