Reserving emotional reactions sometimes brings this out in people... but wow. Calling you a "dick"?? If you needed any indication that you need to detach emotionally from him, that would be it. You can be polite to him without serving him cookies and wiping his bottom.
Do the 180 to protect yourself. He's either going to be startled into treating you with more respect, or he's going to spiral into selfishness. Either way, you are doing this to protect your heart and gather your strength.
Regarding your seeming lack of "appreciation" - what exactly is he doing right now that he feels he's earned that? It IS good to indicate when we appreciate the work that our WS is doing, but if he wants you to fawn over things like taking out the garbage or NOT going out to a bar for one night, he's not really in the program.
(((EB1541)))"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron
Me: BW 35
Crazz: WH 33
Daughter: 4.5 Going on 16