Those of you who say you'll never remarry or cohabitate again, what do you think?
Except that I am more on the every other weekend schedule with maybe a midweek dinner.
I admit, the nightly phone call and the idea that dating leads to "more" expectations, time, and shared responsibility is NOT appealing to me. BUT... I want something consistent and intimate.
No nightly phone call. No schedule commitments. No sleepovers. No exchanging keys. I do NOT want another full-meal deal relationship again.
Well, not for the service, but that sounds great to me. The last thing I want is another Needy Nelson wanting to hog up my evenings and trying to dictate all of my free time. Oh no. Never again!
I am not dating currently have no time and have my kids pretty much all the time. This idea would suit me
But I am thinking this probably 'new' strategy of dating has just really labelled what is currently happening with divorced people/singles with children anyway. People that probably can't really commit to much more of a relationship until it's much later in their relationship where the partner is introduced and children etc and families begin to blend. I guess they have just found a way to market it.
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
It may be that one party eventually "wants more," but at least you can search among a pool of people who claim to be of like mind. From there, you have to vett the prospect, but you have to do that anyway. Just go into it knowing that it has the potential for attracting a lot of people who really just want a FWB, or worse, married people who are looking for something "steady" on the side. (It's not as though the other sites don't do that already).
I just don't think I can do the 24/7 living together thing, but I want someone in my life. That's part of the allure of my new target audience: Single dads that have full custody.
I have yet to come across anyone who is actually capable of this kind of arrangement for more than a few months. Even in a FWB scenario. They seem to accept that 50% of my time is for my girls but kind of start demanding the remaining 50%. Then we're back to rejection.
I'm not a fan of OLD - this site sounds a little like a haven for cheaters who don't want to cheat with other cheaters, IYKWIM?
But the texting. Sweet Jesus, the texting! I mean, I thought I was needy (or so The Princess lead me to believe), but I'm not even on the scale. She wanted me to text as soon as I woke each morning, for at least an hour in the evening, text goodnight as the phone fell out of my hand, and MANY times throughout the day. HUNDREDS of texts each day.
We dated for a little over two weeks, and I tried to convince myself that I just was a little cold after the 17-year emotional deep freeze of my marriage, and needed to get used to some human warmth. No way, dude.
One night while at my weekly jam session (I had told her that I can't answer texts for that four-hour period once a week), I received about 30 texts from her. She had worked herself up into a state. Thought I was ignoring her, had friend-zoned her, was pining for The Princess. By text #30, she was wishing me luck, saying she hopes I have "more courage" to accept the love I deserve next time".
My response: "Thanks. Good luck to you too."
I think maybe the problem wasn't with me. I've decided that the part-time lover may be a mythical beast.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!
When we met, it was a FWB thing because he figured he'd never find a woman who wouldn't want him to quit his job. And after being married to a controlling asshole, I wasn't looking to have anyone involved in my life enough to get controlling. So, we'd enjoy our Saturdays and Sundays together, and I'd kiss him good-bye and he'd be gone for 5 days, and..it just worked.
As we realized we actually really liked and loved each other, he was very concerned his job would be a problem. And, I have since earned the title "Least Romantic Wife Ever" because i had to tell him, I LIKE his job, this is what I wanted. I wanted to be alone quite a bit, i'm so introverted that it is ridiculous, so, I get all week to recharge, at Christmas, he had a month off. And, it was weird. He was glad to go back to work, and i was glad to kiss him bye. When I say this sort of thing, we get a lot of of people who seem shocked and say they love their spouse far too much to "allow" this. We adore each other. And, we like our time apart. It really is nice, it can be hard, but, it's nice and it works for us.
It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end
Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.
Good to know my marriage is just a "booty call".
No serious discussion of living together or marriage. We've touched on it, but neither of us are enthused about that. We are both introverts and need recharge time alone. The only way we could live together is if one of us had a cottage in the back. But that's not being planned for. I've wondered if there is something wrong with me that I've not 'healed' enough, but so what if it is. This is what works great right now.
We have such consistently very pleasant times together and we love each other. No frills, straight forward. When we have to communicate difficult things we do. Mostly we communicate appreciations. 4 years and going strong.