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Iamacrab posted 1/28/2014 18:48 PM

I really like new guy. He's fantastic so far, taking it slooow. But did I mention that I really like him?
XHs bday is very soon. The first one I haven't been a part of in 13 years. I feel so strange about it, not sad, but not detached enough maybe. I don't know.
New guy doesn't know about that part of my past yet.
I just don't want to bring it up. Maybe I still feel shame somehow that I was married to a person who did this to me repeatedly? I don't know. Something to discuss in IC.
I'm just talking, because I'm anxious about it all. I know I have to tell new guy in the nearer future, but it's like saying I'm damaged or something for loving XH. I don't know why I say that because I don't feel that way about any of your stories, just my own. Ughhh.

Pass posted 1/29/2014 11:13 AM

I know what you mean about the X's birthday. On The Princess' birthday in December, I found out that she and her boyfriend were taking my boys over to her parents' for the traditional birthday party. That really cemented the fact that she was no longer just screwing around. I had been replaced.

In the dating I've done, I've also wrestled with when to tell them about my experience (including the infidelity, emotional abuse, depression, ADHD, suicide attempt). I don't want to scare anyone off before they've had the chance to find out that I'm worth it - but I also don't want them to feel like I've pulled a bait-and-switch on them.

Please let me know if you come up with the magical answer!

[This message edited by pass at 4:15 PM, January 29th, 2014 (Wednesday)]