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Reconciliation :
Inviting my mother to Vow Renewal???

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question

 Noturfan (original poster new member #41661) posted at 3:09 AM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

My BH and I are renewing our vows for our 10th wedding anniversary this May. I was nervous about suggesting it to him but he told me he had been thinking the same thing. It's nice to be doing something together where I am reminded of why we fit together so well. We have the same ideas on almost everything

My dilemma is this. I don't want to invite my mother. She is the cause of my FOO issues and left my father a few years ago for another man. I found out during this that she had multiple affairs and has given my father a STD. I should have know how much an affair damages but I was selfish and blind.

I know that WHEN she finds out that we had a big event and didn't invite her the shit will hit the fan.

Part of me knows I need to be the bigger person and I have made so many gestures in the past to include her in our lives, but she has always been disinterested. She doesn't call , forgets my kids birthdays, and never visits.

Thoughts?

posts: 22   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2013
id 6661082
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Gottagetthrough ( member #27325) posted at 4:08 AM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

It depends on whether you are having a big party with all of your family, or a small ceremony with your dearest friends and family.

Either way, if she makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to invite her

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 6661160
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 Noturfan (original poster new member #41661) posted at 5:10 AM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

I don't have a large family. I would only invite my brother and my father. Most of the people coming are our friends in the small town we live in. We have found that 'family' is not always blood.

posts: 22   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2013
id 6661229
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Nest2007 ( member #39532) posted at 5:12 AM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

inappropriate comment.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 11:20 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)]

BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.

posts: 230   ·   registered: Jun. 12th, 2013   ·   location: Here and there...
id 6661234
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 Noturfan (original poster new member #41661) posted at 5:16 AM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

I'm really sorry. But I'm not who you think I am.

posts: 22   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2013
id 6661239
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