I dreaded telling H. The stress level was already sky high. I waited a bit and told him later that day. He reacted calmly, rationally and kindly. He said to me, we'll handle this, we'll figure it out together.
The past few days we have been settling into a new house and dealing with DS. I realized last night that as exhausted as we were, and as up in the air and scary as the DS situation seems to us as parents, we are handling it. I realize that it's going to escalate and this is probably the calm before the inevitable storm, but I was so grateful for that feeling of togetherness with H.
I let him know how that was making me feel, as we were tying up the millionth stack of boxes, unpacking shit in our freezing freakin' (seriously, enough with this cold already!) garage. Numb hands, exhausted minds and bodies....he said nothing, he just gave me a warm, reassuring hug.
This is our Reconciliation.
Best of luck with DS!
Thanks for reminding me that it's this one (not so) simple aspect that can feel so deep and meaningful.
Best of luck to you.
Me 42, he 44
Sending lots of warm and healing thoughts to all of you. Especially for DS.
I hope you're very happy in your new digs.
[This message edited by sisoon at 3:02 PM, January 29th (Wednesday)]
I feel as you do AN.
Prior to our R I felt as though I would handle stuff and hubby would handle stuff. It wasn't a we, and if there was we weren't on the same page.
The tension, bad feelings, resentment all for nothing.
If someone had ever just pointed the way it would have saved years of stress!
I consider you and LD fortunate, to have found the answers, to have that united front and to know that having each others back isn't just a term one throws around.
Continued strength and unity for the two of you and prayers to your DS. They flounder and make choices that we don't always agree with, but if we turn back the pages of time and know we were there once it makes it easier to accept.
One day he will share your wisdom, but it will take time.
Thanks for an uplifting, happy post.
... we'll handle this, we'll figure it out together
Your DS has solid people he gets to call, mom and dad.
Wish you all well. And warmth!