Wow, that's a bigger response than I got just after DDay. As a matter of fact, I experienced the opposite right away. It was as if we were radioactive with "Affair" and nobody wanted to be near us. Granted, much of that may have had to do with the fact that we were trying to Reconcile and a lot of MY family and friends were afraid they would lash out at FWH if they had to be in the same room with him.
After time, we were able to return to "normal" with several of our relationships.
I think that in your case it's probably due in large part to something similar. People know how to help the victim, but R after an A is not something that a lot of people who haven't been on this side of the fence can wrap their heads around. I remember years and years ago my best friend's husband cheated on her and I badgered her for months to leave him. Who in their right mind would stay?!?!?! Fortunately for our friendship she had the ability to articulate that she needed me to support their marriage, and that my unsolicited opinion was hurting her and causing her to withdraw from me.
Maybe you can reach out to some of your closest friends and let them know that you appreciate their support as you try to put the pieces of your marriage back together. As for peripherals, don't give up on them. Life happens - sometimes in waves, and I bet a lot of this isn't personal at all. I get sensitive about the same thing but I've learned to talk myself down.