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is it worth it and does she deserve our marriage

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nick1234 posted 1/29/2014 16:43 PM

Im my recovery from my WW A I am struggle with may thing. One thing I struggle with is if I stay im violating my personal beliefs. I have had girlfriend cheat when I younger and I would walk away i didnt need the if that what they were going to do. I always said I would never stay with some that would do that to me.
I will be giving up pride. I always thought that people that stay with a cheater were weak and pathetic, now I feel weak and pathetic. i feel that by staying im saying you can walk all over me, disrespected and I will just forgive you.
im giving up my dignity I feel that when I go places people will think look at that weak fool he is still with her even after what she did to him. I no they won't really know and I shouldn't care what people think but thats how I feel. even at work when people say you must be so happy that you get to spend the weekend with your loving wife i think to my self "if you only knew".
Now for her. Does she deserve this sacrifice after what she did? Should I give her a chance? Do I want to be with someone that could treat me like that? Should I make her hurt like I hurt? Should I leave her and make her suffer knowing that she lost me because she chose to screw around with OM.

HUFI-PUFI posted 1/29/2014 16:58 PM

The mods will probably inform you that your question should have been posted in the I Can Relate forum on the BS Questions for WS's thread however, I will try to quickly mention one thing.

Could you not see that by granting her privilege of working to R that in fact you are showing everyone that you have a love that is strong enough that you can risk giving your WW a second chance. This shows that you are confident and strong in the love you feel for your wife. Yes, she made a mistake and instead of throwing her to the wolves so to speak, you have the faith in her inherent ability to be the wife once more that she once was.

Trust me, by extending me the choice of R, my wife showed me what true eternal love was and for that, I will be eternally grateful.

HUFI

wifehad5 posted 1/29/2014 17:24 PM

Nick,

BS's are not allowed to start posts in Wayward. Please post in the thread Hufi posted below.

Thanks

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