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Wow so much at once.....

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lordhasaplan? posted 1/30/2014 08:10 AM

Hello all,
My W's downward spiral began with a blow to her perceived value. It was a lay off at work. This was such a tremendous blow to her sense of self it started the walk toward Depression and her self-destructive thought processes, ending in the affair. Well this week, lay offs at work. Here comes the AXE, plus Grandmother in hospice making the slow walk to her demise.
Worried, you bet.
But not about family finances, or impact of layoff. But rather HER..
How do I know she is different, more capable?
She called to tell me she was terminated, could I watch our DS Thursday because she scheduled a emergency apt with IC. And she moved TOWARD me. Tears, frustrations, worries, hugs, kisses. She is different, She is more capable, She is protecting us , Herself, and focused on what's important. Our family.
Blessed to be in a different marriage with an authentic W.

[This message edited by lordhasaplan? at 8:10 AM, January 30th (Thursday)]

obliquestrat posted 1/30/2014 08:24 AM

Love to see good stories too, thanks for sharing it!

SisterMilkshake posted 1/30/2014 08:26 AM

That is great that your W moved toward you, not away. Her actions do sound like those of an authentic person and wife. Sorry that she was laid off, though, that is always hurtful, it shouldn't be, but it just is.

eta: so sorry about Grandma. Sending wishes of peace and serenity to dear Grandma. And your whole family, lordhasaplan.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 8:27 AM, January 30th (Thursday)]

Shayna71 posted 1/30/2014 08:35 AM

Thanks for sharing this. I scour these sites looking for posts just like yours. I'll pray that your wife gets a better, more fulfilling job soon and with your help can deal with her grandma

lordhasaplan? posted 1/30/2014 08:50 AM

Thanks all,
Sister, My DS is 11 and he has gotten very attached to great grandma the last 4 years. They are play partners and snuggle buddies. I think this is going to be hardest on him. Anyone who lives to the ripe old age of 90 deserves to go in peace on their terms. As much as it sucks I think my job is getting him to understand and accept this fact, while teaching him to voice his feelings through this time.

sisoon posted 1/30/2014 10:00 AM

The lay off sucks, but I'm with you on this.

Under times of stress we usually revert to old, often dysfunctional, behaviors. Going to new behavior under stress really is a change.

I wish you and your W the best. I hope you help her keep in mind that she's valuable because she's a human being, not because someone pays her to do a job.

Even so, I hope her next job is better than the one that went away.

lordhasaplan? posted 1/30/2014 10:43 AM

Thanks Sisoon.

StillStanding1 posted 1/30/2014 10:56 AM

So very sorry for your loss, but grateful to read how your W has learned to turn toward you in stressful times. This has been an ongoing topic for us. Glad to see it can actually work!!!! Good for you both!!!!

lordhasaplan? posted 1/30/2014 17:05 PM

Thanks still standing

AFrayedKnot posted 1/30/2014 17:07 PM

Skan posted 1/30/2014 19:05 PM

That's wonderful. Not the lay-off nor the news about her Grandfather, of course, but that she immediately took control of what she needed to do and moved firmly towards you. I feel for your son. Losing my MIL was so hard on my nephew because his Grandmother was who he went to see every day after school.

creativecat posted 2/1/2014 10:46 AM

((lordhasaplan AND Mrs. lordhasaplan))

So sorry you are going through more difficulties. It's always something, isn't it? The only thing we can control is how we react and behave to the things we encounter. And it's so nice to hear how your W is turning to you, recognizing her stress levels and seeking help from IC, and overall choosing better coping methods.

Peace and blessings to you all.

LAFA posted 2/1/2014 10:56 AM

Sorry to hear of your loss, but very happy that you know your W is moving in the right direction. You have always been an inspiration here, level headed and helping other folks along the way. All the best to you and your family.

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