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To those BS who are wondering who they married...our MC suggested WH have a full psychological evaluation and it was the best suggestion! He saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with Bipolar Disorder. I'm not saying mental illness is an explanation for everyone nor is it an excuse but it does help explain some really bizarre behavior for a man who I've know for nearly 30 years who would never betray his wife and kids.

Love and prayers to all you other BS who are enduring the pain and agony. Having a diagnosis helps explain but the pain still remains (though slightly lessened).

[This message edited by Camille87 at 5:17 PM, January 30th (Thursday)]

This happened to us too. It's not a magic bullet. My SAFWH continued into cheat on my after the diagnosis.

It's true that one aspect of BP MAY be hypersexuality. Please allow that to be a partial explanation, but NEVER an excuse.

Medication has evened out my SAFWH's moods, but IC and 12 step meetings, as well as the knowledge that a slip sends me to a lawyer are what keeps him sober.

[This message edited by scaredyKat at 12:31 AM, January 31st (Friday)]

I'm glad he is seeking help. Sending both of you strength.

Thank you for the suggestion - coincidental for me because I too am wondering who I married. Yesterday I suggested to my H that he be seen by a psychologist for BD screening because I think he has had manic episodes throughout our long (21-yr) marriage. I'm not offering mental illness as an excuse for his porn addiction but I truly believe there is something there, psychologically.

I'm glad you've been given a diagnosis. As you say, it doesn't lessen the pain, but with treatment, maybe you have a ground zero to begin R.

Hugs to you.

Thanks for the comments and encouragement.

Just want to add that for those of you who may try to have your spouse see a mental health specialist.. know that only a psychiatrist can prescribe meds. A counselor, psychologist, social worker, or a marriage & family therapist cannot.

[This message edited by Camille87 at 5:40 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]

I am very happy that your husband is getting treatment. Mine was also diagnosed with Bipoar I after a year of 'not being himself' (and leaving his family for the OW who he had met at a conference only a few days before he dumped us to go move in with her. Odd behavior for ANYONE, but knowing my husband and how important family is to him... just never in 1000 years did I think hed do that)

Our court appointed co parent counselor said, Thank goodness you got to a doctor who diagnosed it. I thought that you were either borderline or bipolar.

It is a tough journey. Strength to you.

its also not always diagnosed right away... I think the average is 10 years before it gets diagnosed correctly, and we both had psych evals during our divorce. WH came up as very mentally healthy.

Still pisses me off that the court appointed evaluator (a PhD in Psychology) couldn't see after spending 5 hours with my WH that he was seriously ill...